The Kaworu Chronicles
by Kerristallax
Summary: Starting with a change of episode 24's ending and progressing from there on.
1. Part 0: Prequel / Introduction

This fiction picks up towards the end of Episode 24: The Final Messenger  
As such, it contains major spoilers. Be warned. Obviously, Evangelion and all related characters are copyrights of Gainax, etc. etc. etc. This is not written for profit. Feel free to distrubute, but please do not remove this disclaimer. Thanks, Kerristallax (kerristallax@yahoo.com)  
  
The Kaworu Chronicles  
Version 2: New as of 2001-5-21  
Part 1: Prequel / Introduction  
  
"I have been waiting for you, Shinji-kun."  
  
These were the words of Nagisa Kaworu as he floated serenely down the access shaft, apparently unaware of the struggle around him. Behind him, in front of him, surrounding him was more than simply two biomechanical constructs battling for dominance. It was man, desperately fighting to save himself; while at the same time, fighting against the ambitions of other men.  
  
Kaworu was almost unconsciously levitating himself and the two Evangelions aloft, drifting slowly downward. He glowed brightly, a pure white. The color itself may have been a warming, but the circumstances only made it more sinister. It is quite unnatural for a human to be covered in a brilliant nimbus... but for an Angel? That would not be the strangest occurrence...  
  
The two Evas locked hands, each trying to overpower the other. They each seemed to realize that such grappling would end in stalemate at the same time, and both of their shoulder cases shot open simultaneously to reveal the progressive knives. Unit 01's weapon had the general appearance of a combat-style blade, whereas Unit 02's knife was more similar to a massive utility razor. Unit 01's blade stabbed forward, at exactly the same instant as Unit 02's. The two met in a violent clash of sparks, holding together for a moment.  
  
Unit 01, piloted by a human, lost its balance for a split second, its knife flying suddenly at Kaworu. Within the Eva, Shinji was speechless as the huge weapon hurtled towards the one he had once called friend, only to be deflected by a field of orange-red hexagons. An Angel's AT Field...  
  
"Kaworu-kun!" Shinji shouted. "An AT Field?!"  
  
"Yes, Shinji-kun. That's what you humans call this... But don't you know? It is the sacred light of the soul, into which no-one may intrude. It is something which every human has, the truth which has always existed but you refuse to admit. The AT Field is that because of which we are separated. It is the wall within your mind."  
  
Distracted, Unit 01 was abruptly knifed in the chest. In retaliation, Unit 02 received a generous stab to the throat. Each tried to push the blade in as deeply as possible.  
  
"Only a friend can get close enough to hurt," Kaworu said, to himself as much as to Shinji. "If you don't get close to others, you won't be betrayed and you can't hurt each other."  
  
At this time, they fell through a hole in the ceiling of Terminal Dogma. The two Evas had fallen into a sea of Link Connection Liquid, upon which floated... icebergs, or fragments of them. They bore a striking resemblance to jagged teeth. It looked as though the scenery was an attempt to replicate the conditions of Antarctica, fated site of the Second Impact. At any rate, the atmosphere did nothing to comfort Ikari Shinji.  
  
Kaworu floated a several feet over the fallen Unit 01, regarding Shini sadly. He turned, with what could almost be described as regret, or sadness, and drifted towards the portal known as Heaven's Door. Shinji was determined not to give up, and stood to take a step after him. His progress was halted by Unit 02 grabbing his leg. Furious, Shinji brought his fist with full force into the Eva's face, reducing part of it to a bloody ruin. Meanwhile, Kaworu had reached the door. Supposedly, this was the most secure place in the NERV Geofront. It was allegedly protected by all manners of wards and seals, though it opened with but a glance from Kaworu.  
  
The door slid open quickly, revealing NERV's most prized possession. A white figure, roughly the size of an Evangelion minus the legs, fixed on a very large red cross.  
  
"I have returned, father," Kaworu addressed the masked figure. Then, Unit 01 crashed through the door loudly. "What...? Lilith? This is mankind's future...? I... I think I understand, now..." Unit 01 reached out angrily, taking him in its immense grasp.  
  
"Ikari Shinji-kun..." Kaworu said quietly. "It is my destiny as a child of Adam to live forever... Even if humanity is to be annihilated as the result. However, I can and will die so that you may go on. The absolute liberty is in death... Only I, of all the Angels, have free will. I make my own decisions, the same way each of you does every day. My price... It is responsibility. But know this. It must be you who can evade the destruction and inherit the future."  
  
So saying, Kaworu gazed upwards to the form of Ayanami Rei, whom he could see clearly, far above. He smiled warmly to her, intending that to be is his last gesture. At least, let some good come of me.  
  
"I'm sorry, Ikari Shinji-kun," Kaworu said to the Evangelion holding him.  
  
Rei had witnessed and heard the entire exchange. The fifth child... The seventeenth Angel... In what way are you and I alike? Why did you say this? How insignificant he looks in the palm of the Evangelion. This is an Angel? An enemy? How can he be my enemy?  
  
His words stirred something within her, emotions not her own. Her mind was a shambles of thoughts she did not recognize. Kaworu...kun? I did not know I could care... Rei reached out. Let go... and take hold... The act was quite unlike spreading an Eva's AT Field.  
  
"No... Kaworu-kun... No..." Shinji whispered, tightening his hands on the control modules of Unit 01. "I can't..."  
  
His thought was interrupted by a flash of fiery hexagons, sliding between his fist and Kaworu's body like a knife. Kaworu fell to the ground below of Heaven's Door in a heap. He sat up weakly after a minute, looking very confused for the first time. Lilith?  
  
Shinji was too shocked to move, watching Nagisa Kaworu slowly stand up and dust himself off, apparently testing to see if he was still in one piece. For reasons unknown to Shinji, he looked upwards again, and realization seemed to dawn on him, at least partially. Shinji's paralysis passed quickly as rage overtook him, though. Unit 01 tried to step forward to Kaworu, only to be stopped by an AT Field stronger than a mountain and smoother than glass. There was no apparent way to get through, no way to tear a hole in the field. The Eva's AT Field was not having its usual neutralizing effect.  
  
Furious, he picked up the fallen progressive knife in an attempt to batter through the field. Failing this and quickly running out of options, Shinji raised his fist to smash through by hand. It was then that he noticed a detail which previously escaped him. By the time the hexagons spreading along the field reached Kaworu-kun, they were large and well-spaced apart. Then... he was not the source of the AT Field? Shinji looked upwards, trying to discern what the source of the field was. His eyes followed its path, all the way up to a tiny glowing figure on the balcony. There stood none other than Ayanami Rei.  
  
Rei rested against the railing, her eyes opening slowly, now. She wore an intense look, as though she had exerted herself physically.  
  
"Ayanami...! What... what are you doing?!" Shinji cried. Being inside his Entry Plug, he did not really expect an answer. Shortly thereafter, Shinji was in for another shock. Rei appeared to lean over the balcony slowly, and just kept on leaning out. She fell over the side, and though she did not scream on the way down, the fall certainly did not look intentional. Inches before reaching the hard surface of the floor under the gateway, Rei stopped abruptly in mid-air. She only remained suspended for a second, before landing in a crouch on the floor, wholly undamaged.  
  
Rei stepped over to the nearby Kaworu, whispering quietly to him. "We must leave this place..."  
  
Kaworu nodded slowly, and then walked semi-consciously through the threshold of Heaven's Door, back into the access shaft they had come through. Rei followed him, motioning for Shinji and Unit 01 to leave, as well.  
  
Before exiting, Shinji took a long look at the figure on the cross. He had heard Kaworu, somehow, say the word 'Lilith'. He stared at the figure wearing a purple mask of seven eyes. Adam? Supposedly, all the Angels are searching for Adam so that they might destroy humanity. Kaworu-kun is, obviously, an Angel. Once again, my trust has been betrayed. How like father... Sighing, Shinji in Unit 01 walked through the portal. Oddly, the Eva was slouched over, dragging its hands as if in weariness.  
  
As soon as he stepped through, they all heard the loud sound of metal running on metal. Heaven's Door clanged shut, the display on the card reader changing from green to red. Rei stood waiting for him, and Kaworu... looked almost unsure. Shinji lay the Eva down on its side, then frantically ejected the Entry Plug. He scrambled out as soon as it had stopped moving, falling a few feet to the ground.  
  
"Ayanami!" Shinji shouted. "What's going on? What are you doing?!"  
  
Rei gave no answer, only looked to Kaworu to explain the unusual turn of events. After a tense moment of silence, Kaworu began.  
  
"I have no excuses for you, Shinji-kun. Whether I was truly born to meet you, as I said, or not; my existence is both a betrayal to you and to everyone else. I am the Seventeenth Angel, known as Tabris. I am the Angel of Free Will... And that, of itself, has become hypocrisy. I allowed myself to be used... by the old men of the commitee, who seek their own ends regardless of the expense to humanity. I failed. I did not merely fail them, for that is of little consequence. I failed myself. By allowing myself to be used, I made the decision not to use my free will, and so wronged myself. I have done a great evil to you, Shinji-kun. You've been betrayed, again, by someone who lead you into the realm of trust. I do not ask your forgiveness."  
  
As the words hit Shinji, their meaning painful to even consider, he felt his strength ebb. Slowly, he sank to the floor. Rei found herself again wondering strange thoughts, not her own... Emotions she had felt, but did not remember.  
  
I know you, don't I, Ikari... Or rather, Rei knows you. What did you mean to her? To me?  
  
"Ikari. Will you continue to torment yourself so? Your objectives have been completed. No Third Impact has happened, and humanity is safe. Kaworu-kun lives. You are alive, and unhurt," Rei said to him.  
  
Shinji lay on the ground, hearing Rei's words but not paying attention. "Kaworu-kun..." he pondered dazedly. "Do I feel angry? Do I seek revenge? Upon whom? No... I don't... I'm empty, tired. I can't go on..."  
  
Far above, in the main control area of NERV, or Central Dogma, the madness was only beginning.  
  
"Audio sensors to Terminal Dogma restored!" Maya shouted.  
  
"The AT Field is gone! Unit 02 has ceased operation, status unknown. Unit 01 has ejected its Entry Plug!" Hyuuga exclaimed. "Heaven's Door has been closed."  
  
"The Angel..." Misato began. "What is going on down there?!" she screamed into a phone transmitting to Unit 01's external communications system. "Shinji-kun! What are you doing?!"  
  
Rei, followed slowly by Kaworu, walked over to the still prone Shinji. Kaworu began quietly, "Shinji-kun... I have come to regret... what has been done. More importantly, I regret the pain that has been caused."  
  
"Ikari-kun," Rei went on after Kaworu stopped speaking. "You have fulfilled your obligation. Your duty, to prevent the Seventeenth Angel from reaching Adam, has been completed. When Misato arrives, you need not apologize. You have done nothing wrong."  
  
Slowly and after considerable mental debate, Shinji rose. "If this is true, then..." Shinji paused for a long period of time, staring at the floor. Gradually, he raised his eyes to Kaworu and Rei, who were standing together. "You two seem so alike," Shinji mused aloud. Rei was startled by this comment, a faint tint of red staining her cheeks. She raised her eyebrows in question, but Shinji gave no additional comment. "...then..." His speech was reflecting the disjointed state of his mind and soul. "...then... help... me..."  
  
Shinji fell foward, his fall prevented only by Rei and Kaworu's close proximity.  
  
"Shinji?! Where are you?! What's going on?!" screamed Misato from Unit 01's external communications system.  
  
"Come, Ikari... We will go together to Misato-san," Rei and Kaworu assisted the incapacitated Shinji over the Unit 01, where screaming could still be heard from the phone located there.  
  
"Misato-san, the Angel has been prevented from reaching Adam," Rei said into the receiver. Kaworu refrained from commenting that the being was, in reality, Lilith.  
  
"Shinji-kun?!"  
  
Wearily, Shinji took the receiver from Rei. "I am alive, Misato-san," he responded at length.  
  
"Is everyone alright?!" Misato continued to yell.  
  
Looking to Kaworu and Rei, Shinji replied, "Yes... Everyone is all-right." 


	2. Part 1

Obviously, Evangelion and all related characters are copyrights of Gainax, etc. etc. etc. This is not written for profit. Feel free to distrubute, but please do not remove this disclaimer. Thanks, Kerristallax (kerristallax@yahoo.com)  
  
The Kaworu Chronicles   
Part 1  
  
  
Ikari Shinji, Ayanami Rei, and Nagisa Kaworu are standing before the fallen Unit 01. All of them are staring at the phone which has just been hung up in the Eva's exterior communications box.  
  
'Misato-san is certainly in for a small shock,' thought Rei.  
  
"Yes, she is, isn't she," replied Kaworu.  
  
"How did you do that, Kaworu?" asked Rei calmly, even though the remark had startled her.  
  
"When I said that you and I are the same, it was the truth. We are so close mentally that I can anticipate some of your thoughts. But we are unique, as well. I do not have the power of telepathy, or any such thing. But given time, you most likely can do the same for me," explained Kaworu.  
  
Further conversation was prevented by the arrival of Misato and a rescue party of sorts. Upon the sight of three teenagers, not two, standing around Unit 01, Misato shouted, "What?! The Angel's NOT DEAD?!" The NERV security personnel reached for their weapons.  
  
The sight of armed guards facing his friends brought Shinji back to the world of the living. "Katsuragi-sansa... please stop... I don't want anyone else to die," Shinji said desperately, a pleading look on his face. What surprised him was that he was being sincere.  
  
"Shinji-kun! What madness is this?" Misato called. "You said the Angel had been stopped!"  
  
"I have." Kaworu's statement brought everyone's attention to him. "I have no intention of merging with Adam or with Lilith, who resides within the door behind us," he said with a gesture to the re-sealed Heaven's Door.   
  
"No! I don't believe you! You're... You're one of them!" Misato shouted. "One of those who took my father away from me; one of those who put me through hell in the Second Impact!" Misato was overcome by emotion; the memories were too much for her to withstand. She collapsed weakly to the floor.  
  
Visions of floating in seas of blood tormented the mind of Katsuragi Misato. Her father was gone, the entire expedition had been annihilated. She was the only one. The only one in the world? Was everyone else dead? She floated on through what truly was hell for her.  
  
Misato heard footsteps coming toward her. "Stay away from me! I don't want your excuses!" When she looked up, Shinji was standing above her. "Shinji-kun!" she said in shock. Rei and Kaworu were close behind him. The presence of the guards had, if anything, caused the three to stay closer together than before. "NERV security personnel are dismissed," Misato ordered. With that, the guards replaced their pistols and headed towards the elevator.   
  
"Why, Shinji-kun? Why are you doing this to me?" Misato pleaded. Shinji was surprised by the sudden turn of events. He half-expected to be the one saying this.  
  
"It is not my right to decide the fate of mankind," Kaworu resumed. "I would sacrifice myself so that you all, could live. Shinji and Rei have shown me that such measures are not necessary."  
  
At length, Shinji answered, "No-one accomplishes anything by dying. Why is it our right to choose death for someone? Kaworu's has shown me this. He is no less human than I am."  
  
Misato said nothing. Instead, she merely shrugged and moved listlessly towards the elevator she had come down on. "Well, come on. Let's see what the others have to say about this, Shinji..." Apparently, Misato was employing her usual method of solving problems: ignoring them or letting others solve them.  
  
The ride up towards the main control room was long, and tense. Rei stood behind the others, studying Kaworu intently. He once turned and smiled at her, but other than that there was no real interaction. Shinji was still unsure of what to expect, and Misato was leaning against the wall hopelessly. The radio in the elevator interrupted the silence. "Katsuragi-sansa. Please explain what is going on." Ikari Gendou's voice was cold and unforgiving.  
  
"I dismissed the guards when it became obvious they were not needed. Right now, Shinji, Rei, Kaworu, and myself are riding the elevator back to the main control area," was her reply.  
  
Static was the only answer back from the radio. "Misato? What is going to happen to us?" Shinji asked timidly.  
  
"I really cannot say, Shinji-kun," replied Misato, somewhat recovered. "After what your father has done to you -- no -- to us, I will do whatever I can to protect you. Your father... He would destroy us all to kill the Seventeenth Angel. I can only hope... Hope that this will not be our final hour."  
  
This provoked Shinji, bringing back memories of Unit 03 and Touji. His father had nearly killed Touji by using the dummy-plug system. At least now that option was not open to the heartless Ikari Gendou. "He tried to kill my friends...! With my hands!" Shinji raged.  
  
"Rei and I will protect you, Shinji-kun," said Kaworu. Rei nodded in agreement. "As you saved me, Rei. If violence is attempted towards us, we will protect you all."  
  
"The AT Field?!" exclaimed Misato. "If there is a God, please let it not come to that. Is living worth so much as to be 'protected' by the Angels' AT Field?"  
  
"Yes, Misato, it is," Shinji answered quietly.  
  
"Speaking of which, you all have some explaining to do on exactly how we arrived in the present state----" The elevator ground to a halt, cutting off Misato. The door opened slowly, and Misato looked cautiously outside. No commandos, no automatic rifles, no-one...  
  
Ikari Gendou sat at his cold, large desk somewhere in the Geofront. His plans were unraveling, it seemed. The old men of SEELE would finally retaliate. Somehow, they would find a way to punish him. Fuyutsuki asked him, "Well, Sir, what are you going to do now? Not only is the Seventeenth Angel still alive and well, he has befriended the Eva pilots. Currently, he is in the Central Dogma."  
  
"Do, Fuyutsuki? Nothing... There is nothing that can be done." Gendou mused over his apparent defeat. He had lost Rei to that... Kaworu's influence. The Angel has shown, or is showing Rei what she is capable of doing. Rei will no longer be so pliable. Also, there is no easy way to get Eva Units 01 and 02 out of Terminal Dogma without them being piloted. Apparently, Unit 02 has suffered some damage during the battle.  
  
"For now, I suppose we pretend the incident has not happened. SEELE can do nothing unless they admit that they intentionally sent us the Angel. They will continue as we are now until they find an excuse. Instruct all personnel that the Angel is to remain a secret," Commander Ikari Genou instructed Fuyutsuki. "This is the only way for NERV to remain. There really is no way to kill the Angel, now. When, or if opportunity arises, we may continue our hopes. Without the Lance..." Gendou shrugged. "Besides. So long as he remains, and remains in our hands, SEELE cannot continue their own schemes."  
  
"Oh, and Fuyutsuki. Don't refer to Nagisa Kaworu as 'Angel' the way I have been."  
  
"Understood, sir."  
  
"Hello?" Misato called. "Anyone home?" Computers were running, the main hologram in the upper area of the room was operational, but they saw no-one. "Maya-chan! You are hiding around here somewhere!" The aforementioned Maya slowly rose from behind her computer terminal where she had been fearfully waiting.  
  
"Katsuragi-sansa... Good... to see... you. Aaahhh! Angel! Angel!" Maya screamed. "The AT Field monitor shows nothing..."  
  
"Maya!" Misato ran over to her to prevent anything drastic from being done. "Shinji, would you like to explain some things for us? Starting with WHY?"   
  
"My being an Angel is not exhaustive of my being," Kaworu started again. "I am a human, much in the same way that Rei, Shinji, Misato, or yourself is a human." Rei noted that her name had been mentioned first... Why?  
  
Shinji was feeling obligated to speak something on behalf of Kaworu, who seemed to have to say this often. "Kaworu-kun has taught me about the human soul and the human nature. What do you know about yourself?" Rhetoric. The teacher would be proud. "I have seen the depths of evil we are capable of, and the heights of goodness and generosity. Kaworu-kun has offered to sacrifice himself for us! But it is not necessary that we would... kill... him for our own selfish ends."  
  
"So I place myself under the jurisdiction of Major Katsuragi. I will obey what she says. I will not destroy all of us by merging with Adam or Lilith. As I explained to my friends earlier," Kaworu said with a gesture to Rei, Shinji, and Misato, "it is not my place, nor is it my wish, to decide the fate of mankind."  
  
Slowly, the other technicians rose to look at the being they had been told was an enemy. An enemy bent on their destruction at any cost. Understanding was going to take a very long time. They were prevented from any further questioning by the emergence of a certain Fuyutsuki. This certain Fuyutsuki told them, not in so many words, that there was "Nothing to see here." Misato and the three pilots were ushered out of the room into a smaller area. "Nagisa-san. You probably know what I am going to say. You will continue appearing at NERV as if nothing has happened. I know this sounds far-fetched, but it is the only way to keep SEELE off our backs for the moment. An apartment has been arranged for you. It is in the same general area as Ayanami's. She can show you the way. For now, collect your belongings and go with Major Katsuragi. Ayanami, you accompany them for the time being."  
  
They agreed (what else could they do?) and went down to the NERV barracks where Kaworu had stayed earlier. His only belongings consisted of a few items of clothing, a sharp contrast to the bus-load of possessions Asuka brought with her. Thinking this reminded Shinji of his fallen comrade. "Let's visit Asuka before we leave," Shinji suggested.  
  
"Yes... Unit 02's rightful pilot," Kaworu commented.  
  
"Kaworu-kun! Her condition, and that of her Eva, is no fault of yours. Come with us... Perhaps you can see what it is to be one of us? To be normal?" Shinji replied hastily.  
  
"Normal. What a strange word..." was his only response. Shinji's banter was delayed by this. "No, Shinji; do not feel as if you should apologize to me. You do not need to feel sorry for me. It will be some time before I decide what to do. For now, let us go see... Asuka."  
  
Shinji, Rei, Kaworu, and Misato were going to NERV Hospital room 303, where Asuka was situated. Rei was deep in thought, pondering in her usual way over the happenings in her life. At the moment, she was grappling with her own nature. Events of late had thrown whatever order she had reasoned through into complete chaos. Evidently, much can change in less than a day. In less than a few hours, Rei had seen, and done, things she had never imagined. The encounter between Shinji and Kaworu... Did I do the right thing? Was there a right thing to be done in such a situation? If I had just allowed Kaworu to give up his life, would any good have been accomplished? Ikari-kun was going to kill him. Though he would regret it for the rest of his life, Ikari-kun would have killed him. It only took one gesture to sway him from that disastrous path, one compassionate action to remove hatred's taint from the young Ikari. Young?  
  
Rei had unconsciously fallen behind Misato and Shinji. Kaworu, however, had slowed his pace to stay with her. Kaworu gave his 'Angel's Smile' to Rei, the same he had given Shinji when the two met for the first time. Who are you? I know what you are. Who are you? The smile brought a feeling of complete, absolute trust. At the same time, it answered nothing. Shinji and Misato stopped up ahead of them, waiting for the two to catch up. Shinji turned around at the exact moment to see Rei graced with Kaworu's smile. For some reason she could not quite explain, this caused her face to blush a brilliant shade of crimson. What was about Kaworu? Shinji witheld comment, even so. Kaworu took no notice of Shinji's observation and stared quizzically at Rei, unsure of why she was so embarrassed.  
  
The cause of Shinji's sudden halt was their arrival at room 303. A nurse was walking out at the moment. "How's Asuka? inquired Shinji.  
  
"Physically, she is fine," responded the nurse. "Asuka only needs to find the will to live within herself. She appears to be sleeping now. Please be quiet..." the nurse trailed off as she walked away. The group went inside the room. Asuka was lying on her back, clothed in a drab hospital gown. Her eyes were closed peacefully; her chest rose and fell in the rythm of slumber. Shinji was the first to enter, rushing over to the edge of her bed. Misato followed, and then Rei and Kaworu, respectively. The heavy door slammed shut behind Kaworu, causing Asuka to stir. Her eyes slowly opened, gradually taking in the prospect of visitors in the room. Immediately, her still-dim vision took in the familiar figure of Ikari Shinji. Katsuragi Misato registered after a moment, and then... Two pale, human-shaped smudges with red eyes and light-colored hair. Ayanami Rei was identified by her fine blue hair. The final visitor...  
  
"Shinji-kun... Who is here...?" Asuka asked. Her voice was weak, a poor reflection of the formerly vibrant youth. Shinji hesitated to answer, knowing that a full explanation was more than Asuka could stand.  
  
"A friend, Asuka," he answered at length. Kaworu nodded, a slight smile on his face.   
  
"Shinji-baka... You aren't... telling me something..." Her eyes narrowed at him. "...Why...? I have all the time... in the world."  
  
"When you get better, Asuka-kun," Shinji responded. Asuka sat up to prove that she was indeed better.  
  
"Don't deceive me, Ikari." Asuka's voice seemed to be gaining in strength as she became angrier. The final visitor was about Shinji's age, although he was a bit taller. He had silvery-gray hair, and the same red eyes and pale complection of Rei. The two could be related. How? "Rei's long-lost brother over there doesn't seem like a very trustworthy individual."  
  
"Asuka... I would trust my life with Kaworu-kun," Shinji remarked. "In fact, I already do... I still don't know what my father will do to me."   
"Do to you? What makes you think your father is going to do anything? Aren't you more or less out of his reach?" Asuka replied skeptically. Kaworu took a step forward.  
  
"Asuka. Shinji has told me about you. I am Nagisa Kaworu, the Fifth Child." Kaworu shook Asuka's hand in the traditional Western greeting.  
  
"Fifth Child? They gave up on me that quickly?!" Asuka bent down her head towards the bed she was still sitting in. It looked as if she was going to break her promise not to cry again... Kaworu continued:  
  
"There is a small problem." Kaworu looked around to everyone in the room. Calmly, he said, "I am the Seventeenth Angel." This caused Asuka to burst out laughing.   
  
"You? An Angel? Don't kid me. Fifth Child maybe, but never an Angel." Asuka laid back down, laughing still. "Angel..." she said between fits of hysteria. "Shinji-kun, you certainly know how to make me forget my troubles." Kaworu and Rei quietly walked outside, careful to gently close the door this time.  
  
"Asuka. He wasn't joking, you know..." Shinji attempted to get through to her. Asuka paled slightly. That freak really is an Angel?! "You missed the previous explanations... Even after admitting this to the entire NERV staff in the main control area, he surrendered himself. He gave himself up to Misato-san, swearing to obey her. I do not doubt that he is being truthful."  
  
"You still have a lot of explaining to do, Shinji-kun," Asuka notified him. "Why do you trust him? Why do you even want him to be alive?"  
  
"Asuka... He's the only one... The only one who ever showed me what it meant to love."  
  
"LOVE?! You and he..."  
  
"No." Shinji was surprised to hear the confidence in his own voice. "Not in a physical way. And you always chided me about being a pervert." He gave her a minor glare. "Although there was no chance of stopping him if he had truly wanted to destroy us, he placed our lives over his own. He... volunteered... his life in place of ours. It was... Ayanami who prevented me from killing him. I would have... I'm such a coward..."  
  
"Don't start apologizing, Shinji-kun!" Asuka interrupted forcefully. "You can tell me the rest later. For now, stop feeling sorry for yourself. If you don't, you're going to owe me an apology!"  
  
"Anyway... Why don't you clean up my room so I can get out of this dump? I could probably convince a doctor to get me out of here after you came in to cheer me up," Asuka said pleasantly.  
  
"Of course, Asuka... You're always welcome in my home, err... apartment," Misato said, a bit unsure of Asuka's mental condition. Shinji, however, was relieved to see Asuka in some state of wellness again.  
  
"I'll show the Angel who's the best pilot of Unit 02," Asuka pronounced before Misato and Shinji left. "Call a doctor in here, would you? I want out as soon as possible." Asuka had made her decision: not to give up; not to let life defeat her.  
  
"Yes," Shinji stammered, doubly relieved to know that Asuka had taken Kaworu's announcement seriously. "I'm glad you understand now, Asuka-kun. I was worried when you left... I thought we wouldn't see you again. Good-bye, Asuka. I look forward to your return. If you need anything, anything at all, please call me."  
  
Asuka gotup and walked over to where her duffel bag sat in a corner of the room. Only when she felt the cold draft of the room on her backside did she remember that hospital gowns are open on the rear. "EEETTCCCHIIIII!" she screamed at Shinji before turning around to face him again, her face's color imitating her hair. Shinji made a hasty retreat out the door.  
  
"Who would have imagined..." Misato said after Shinji slammed the door shut behind him. "That the great Sorhyu Asuka Langley could be revived so quickly..." She walked with Shinji, Rei, and Kaworu back towards the elevator leading to the way out of the Geofront. Upon reaching ground level, they all headed to Misato's repeatedly battered, but temporarily in good condition, automobile. Shinji climbed in the front passenger's seat on the left; Rei and Kaworu were left the back seats. Possibly due to the incredible stress of the day, and possibly because Misato had not quite come to grips with having an Angel in the back seat, Misato's driving was remarkably sane. Kaworu and Rei were deposited in the general area of Rei's apartment. Before she drove off, Misato handed them a key with a card attached showing Kaworu's apartment number. "Kaworu... I don't know why you would, but if you activate your AT Field, it will not go unnoticed," she reminded him.  
  
"I understand, Katsuragi-sansa," he responded.  
  
"Call me 'Misato'," she yelled as she drove away.  
  
Kaworu shrugged, picked up his new bag with NERV's ever-present fig leaf and creed, and proceeded to walk to his newly designated 'home'. Rei accompanied him, silent as was customary. However, silence was merely the path of least resistance at this time. Rei was unsure if she had ever had so many questions to ask. This was very unusual for her: being in a situation which she could not reason out on her own.  
  
The sun was beginning to set, staining the sky a brilliant shade of orange-red. The shadows were lengthening over Tokyo-3, making the construction equipment appear as gaunt, twisted, black skeletons. Kaworu reached his door and inserted the key. He walked into the near-blackness without hesitation, while Rei remained at the door.  
  
"Nagisa-kun?" Rei asked timidly.  
  
"Call me 'Kaworu'," he replied with a smile, recalling how Shinji had addressed him at first.  
  
"...Kaworu-kun... May I come in?" Rei ventured.  
  
"Of course, Rei," Kaworu responded.  
  
Rei stepped into the still-dark room. Cautiously, she flipped on the light switch neglected by Kaworu. Surprising to her, the room was then lit... and not by a naked bulb hanging from the ceiling. A plain, but functional, white lamp hanging in the center of the room provided illumination. Even more amazing, the lamp was not alone. There was at least another one in an area which could be termed a kitchen, if one was feeling generous. Another source of light came from a small corridor, which presumably lead to a small bathroom. The sharp contrast, even of these small measures, to her own living conditions rankled in Rei. Do they really care so little about me as to put me in the absolute lowest quality of housing? We are less than a block from my own quarters...  
  
"What did you wish to discuss, Rei?" Kaworu asked after walking around and making a preliminary inspection.  
  
After a long pause, Rei began. "Kaworu... How are we the same?" She left the greater questions unsaid. What am I? Who am I?  
  
"We are alone, Rei. You know this, correct? We have always been alone. Today has made me realize that the humans, even separated as ... we are... They are not so alone as we. We rely only on ourselves. Though God may be in his heaven, and all may be right with the world... We are still alone," Kaworu commented, a sad smile playing over his face. He seemed to have only recently adjusted to calling humanity 'we'.  
  
"I... Never thought of it that way..." Rei said with some difficulty.  
  
"How are we the same, Rei? You see yourself when you look at me, don't you... Some day, we will know. The AT Field is all that separates us," Kaworu's voice was nearly a whisper. Rei picked up all his words, even if the message became increasingly cryptic as he went on.  
  
At this time of the evening, the incessant clanging was gone. As the sun descended further, a feeling of quiet calm pervaded the area. Rei stood still, staring towards Kaworu but not really seeing him. She was lost in thought.  
  
"Rei..." Kaworu said after a short time.  
  
"...Yes?" she responded, surprised at the sudden addition of sound to the world.  
  
"Even SEELE doesn't know anything about you, other than the obvious... Pilot of the late Unit 00; fourteen years old... That is basically all they know."  
  
"That is the second Rei. I am the third..." she replied quietly.  
  
"You are Ayanami Rei. You are the only one," Kaworu assured her. Rei was uncertain of this. "You are not expendable, no matter what they have made you think, Ayanami Rei..."  
  
"...Thank you... Kaworu-kun," Rei said, almost unconsciously. Kaworu smiled. Those were rare words to hear from her; the same as his were rare words for her to hear. No-one tells me, a clone, that I am valuable, unique, and most of all indisposable. After a moment, Rei turned and slowly walked towards the door. It was as if she had to force herself to leave. Pivoting before exiting the room, she gave Kaworu a small smile. Her red eyes were two glowing spheres against the near darkness of Tokyo-3. "Good-bye, Kaworu-kun. This is yours..." she murmured on her way out. Kaworu walked over to pick up a cellular phone from her hands. Rei walked silently back to her own apartment.  
  
Earlier, Misato and Shinji were arriving at their apartment. Shinji had not seen it in a while, and was greeted by the sight of beer cans strewn about, Pen-Pen ambling through the room, and in general, total chaos. He prepared to mumble an apology for going off without notifying Misato. Misato, however, sensed this and cut him off before he could begin. "Shinji-kun... We all make our decisions, and we will live with them. You don't need to apologize. In fact, it is I who should apologize for being the cause of this mess."  
  
"M-Misato-san! I was still wrong to leave..." Shinji stammered.  
  
"Always willing to take the blame, Shinji-kun?" Misato countered.  
  
"I-I'm sorry!" Shinji blurted out. At this, Misato laughed slightly. Shinji responded by blushing furiously.  
  
"Well, let's see about cleaning this up," Misato said, returning to her original plans. The two went about wordlessly, the only sound other than the ringing when the aluminum cans were thrown into bags being Shinji humming a familiar tone to himself. "An Ode to Joy". Time passed quickly, leaving the sky dark before they were finished. At this time, Misato decided that it would be best to check in on Kaworu. She dialed the number on her single operational phone to the new cellular. It rang several times before it was answered.  
  
"Hello?" The voice was deep, compared to the average Japanese teenager's.  
  
"Kaworu... It's Misato..." She was completely uncertain of just what to say, not having much experience talking over the phone with an Angel.  
  
"Good evening, Misato-san. I was wondering if you were going to check in on me. If you'd like, I can call you every-so-often to check in. I understand that I create many new responsibilities for you. I would like to make this as easy for you and the others as possible," Kaworu responded. Something about him seemed to put her at ease.  
  
"You're right, Kaworu-kun. Thanks for being cooperative. I do need to hear from you at least twice a day. I'm sorry if this becomes inconvenient, but... Well, Standard Operating Procedure, you know..." Misato told him. Obviously, no Standard Operating Procedure had been established on just what to do in the event of having a cooperative Angel. Just to be on the safe side, though, Misato had decided on this.  
  
Kaworu did not seem bothered. "Of course, Misato-san. I understand."   
  
"Thank you again, Kaworu-kun. Good-bye." Misato hung up the phone, a little surprised at how easy that had been. Shinji had taken the initiative and began to prepare some of the famous instant food they usually ate. The two were too deeply in thought to really taste it, anyway. Amazingly, Misato drank only a single beer through the entire meal, such that it was...  
  
Shinji retired early that night, the day being too mentally stressful for him to remain active much longer. Misato was listening to the recorded message of Kaji's last words to her. She wondered why she tortured herself so, listening to this daily.  
  
"...The words I could not say eight years ago..."  
  
"Good-bye"  
  
Why, Kaji? Why did you leave me here alone?  
  
-End of Chapter 2- 


	3. Part 2

Obviously, Evangelion and all related characters are copyrights of Gainax, etc. etc. etc. This is not written for profit. Feel free to distrubute, but please do not remove this disclaimer. Thanks, Kerristallax (kerristallax@yahoo.com)  
  
  
The Kaworu Chronicles  
Part 2  
  
  
Ayanami Rei awoke to the sounds of progress in Tokyo-3. She thought she had become inured to these noises, but... There were too many questions to be answered. She had rested uneasily that night, her mind grappling with what Kaworu had told her.  
  
"I am Ayanami Rei," she said to herself, thinking on the meaning of those words. To her, it was a statement of individuality, of uniqueness, and of self-worth... Much more than she usually felt.  
  
Rei dressed in her school uniform even though the actual school was still under repairs from the detonation of Unit 00. They would not have to go back for several more days, as a good location to hold classes in had not been decided on. She simply preferred the anonymity of the uniform. After eating a small breakfast, mainly because she felt obligated to rather than because of hunger, Rei decided to retrieve the cause of all her turmoil, Nagisa Kaworu, on her way over to the apartment complex in which Misato, Shinji, and Asuka lived.  
  
Swinging open her plain metal door, Rei was mildly shocked to see the aforementioned Nagisa Kaworu walking up towards her.   
  
"Kaworu-kun! Were you waiting for me?" she asked after closing the door and walking out.  
  
"Of course, Ayanami," Kaworu responded with his quiet smile.  
  
"'Rei', Kaworu-kun," she reminded him, feeling heat in her cheeks for some reason.  
  
"Of course, Rei," he said, smiling broadly. This caused the heat to rise even further in Rei's cheeks. She was at a loss to explain it. Only Kaworu could do this to her. The two ambled on, exchanging few words, to the abode of Katsuragi Misato.  
  
Far away, in NERV hospital room 303, Sorhyu Asuka Langley was putting on her favorite yellow dress, impatient to leave. After much coercion, the doctors had been convinced to release her. Asuka was angry coercive methods had been needed. After all, Major Katsuragi had authorized this. It was as if they expected her to run away again, or fall into depression.  
  
Never again. Stupid people... I still can't believe they tried to replace me with an Angel! We're supposed to fight the Angels, not let one of them pilot my red Eva! Shinji-baka has a lot of explaining to do. Somehow, he and Wonder-Girl are behind all this.  
  
What Asuka did not admit to herself was that she was secretly glad 'the Angel' had gotten her out of the hospital, even if he was going to have to be put in his place.  
  
After pacing around and cursing in a combination of several languages, Asuka had determined that she was bored. The fated hour of 10:00 came at last, and after only a few additional minutes, Misato and the group were observed coming down the hallway of rooms 301 to 320. Asuka felt like hugging someone, and decided on her guardian, Misato. She ran forward, much like a child to her mother. Apparently, Misato had other plans and stepped out of the way at the last instant. Asuka ended up hugging Shinji, which caused him to turn a spectacular shade of red. Asuka followed suit as she stepped away from him. Misato was doubled over laughing at the antics of Asuka and Shinji. Asuka responded by glaring darkly at her, and then looking around. Shinji was trying to stick an apology in somewhere. Kaworu was smiling. No real surprise there. Rei was... Was Rei smiling as well?  
  
"Trying out a new expression, Wonder-Girl?" Asuka shot. Rei's faced returned to its usually unreadable expression. Most of Asuka's statement was merely empty words, but... 'Wonder-Girl'. Who was that? It meant something. Something known to whom? Rei's thoughts were interrupted by Asuka's next barb.  
  
"I sure hope HE's not your brother, Ayanami. He seems awfully concerned about you!" Asuka gestured in Kaworu's general direction.  
  
At this, Rei blushed much deeper than she had upon meeting Kaworu this morning. She looked resolutely at her feet for what seemed like a long time. Slowly, Rei brought up her gaze, first to Asuka, who looked very pleased with herself, and then to Kaworu, who actually did look concerned for her. After a moment of thinking what to do, she looked towards Misato and Shinji, having forgotten them in the confrontation. Misato was still recovering from her laughing fit, but she looked...   
Midly surprised. Shinji, on the other hand, looked totally surprised. Kaworu was totally unfazed by the whole ordeal.  
  
Misato sensed some tension building, and so changed the subject. "Shinji? Would you carry Asuka's bag for her so we can leave? I imagine we are all anxious to be gone." Misato looked to Asuka for confirmation on this, who nodded vigorously. Shinji seized the opportunity to be out of the crossfire and walked energetically into Asuka's room. Asuka finally stopped staring at Kaworu and ignored the two. She did, however, mentally add a tally mark to her 'score' against Wonder-Girl. If Rei had ever gotten Asuka, she didn't much care to remember those times. But, come to think of it, Rei probably had not.  
  
Shinji emerged moments later, carrying the Asuka's bag. Misato lead the way out, followed quickly by Asuka and Shinji. Kaworu motioned for Rei to follow him, which she did without hesitation. There was a... natural feeling in being with the others. She could go along with them almost without thinking.  
  
Asuka was, to say the least, a bit surprised when they arrived at Misato's car. After placing Asuka's bag in the trunk, Shinji hopped in the front seat.  
  
"Misato-san! You can't honestly expect me to sit in the back seat between THOSE two, can you?" Asuka demanded. She made another gesture towards Kaworu and Rei.  
  
"Well, it's either that or the front seat with Shinji," responded Misato with a grin.  
  
"Are you joking? In the same seat with that baka-hentai? You're giving him all sorts of the wrong ideas!"  
  
Rei calmly opened one of the rear doors. She then stepped inside and slid to the spot in the middle. Kaworu opened the other door, bowed, and waited for Asuka to get in. After eyeing him with complete distrust, she climbed in the car with a sullen expression and slammed the door shut behind her. Kaworu then walked over to the other side and sat down. Asuka had ended up in the far left, behind Shinji. As Misato turned the ignition and started to drive away, Asuka nervously glanced from one pair of red eyes to another.  
  
"M-Misato-san!" Asuka interjected loudly. "You'd better watch these two! There's no telling what they might do!" Misato laughed. "Shinji-kun! Help me!" Rei was largely ignoring the one-sided 'exchange'. She did, however, return the gaze whenever Asuka stared at her for too long. Kaworu faced the window, not overly concerned at the moment. Needless to say, the trip home was not a pleasant one for Sorhyu Asuka Langley.  
  
Fortunately, the drive was not overly long. Tokyo-3 was still in bad shape, and most of its occupants were taking up residence somewhere else, at least temporarily. As such, there were few other people on the roads. Misato interpreted this as another excuse to drive at speeds which pushed the boudaries of sanity.   
  
"Tadaima!" We're home Shinji called as they entered the apartment. Never mind that there was no one waiting for them. Asuka reminded him of this.  
  
"Shinji-baka! We're the only ones here!"  
  
"I-I'm sorry!" Shinji stammered. Asuka muttered darkly under her breath about Shinji's habit of apologizing for everything. Misato and the others filed into the room. Rei looked around the apartment.  
  
It feels the familiar, even though I have never been here. What is this? There is also a feeling that... the apartment isn't usually in this good of a condition. Still, it is a stark contrast to the cell I have been placed in. This is light, clean, above the ground...  
  
"We have a couple hours before lunch," Misato began. "I'd like to know something. How do you all feel... about... Kaworu...? I hope you don't mind me asking, Nagisa-kun..."  
  
"Not at all, Misato. Actually, I would like to know this myself," Kaworu responded.  
  
"Asuka?" asked Misato.  
  
"What?" It was obvious Asuka had been ignoring them. "Oh... Kaworu? All I have to say is that he'd better stay away from Unit 02."  
  
"Not a worry, Asuka," Misato answered. "Apparently, the commander wants to have Unit 03 rebuilt for Kaworu to use. They just told me."  
  
"Unit 03?" Shinji interrupted. "No... Touji... he nearly died in... Unit 03. Kaworu-kun! You can't let my father do this to you!"  
  
"Do not worry, Shinji-kun. I can escape if something goes wrong with Unit 03." To demonstrate this, Kaworu disappeared and then reappeared a few feet away. "You see?" Misato paled visibly at this display. Noticing this, Kaworu walked over to Misato, who tried to shrink away from him. "I apologize, Major Katsuragi. I will not do that again on my own." Misato didn't feel comforted by this. Too many memories of pain at the hands of the Angels. So much pain.  
  
Shuddering involuntarily, Misato tried to refocus on the previous subject. "Well, Shinji?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You forgot already? We were talking about Kaworu-kun!"  
  
"R-Right, Misato-san! I... am so very glad that you are alive, Kaworu-kun. I wish that things could be different -- easier, but... I can accept our... differences," Shinji said shakily.  
  
"Rei?"  
  
After a long pause, Rei answered, "I was told that I am the same as he. I am not bothered by Kaworu-kun."  
  
Misato seemed to notice that for the first time. Neither child seemed overly concerned with his or her physical appearance, as they each had a rather untidy mop of hair. Obviously, Kaworu and Rei had pale skin and glittering red eyes. Was there any significance to that? Kaworu was the tallest of the group, but he was also the oldest. He might be considered lanky, but he had a charm which more than covered for this. Despite being an Angel, or perhaps because of it, Kaworu related quite well to most people. He rarely spoke what he did not mean, and he was very open.   
  
"What...... What do you mean, Rei?" Misato was troubled by this.  
  
"I do not know," Rei responded. Misato sat down to think the matter over, and Shinji began to look worried.  
  
After a moment, Kaworu spoke. "I agree with you, Shinji-kun. I wish that the things could have been easier on all of us. In truth..." He paused for a lengthy amount of time. "...I suppose that I am jealous of you. I wish that I did not rely on the power of the Angels. But it is me. I cannot deny what I am. I can only hope that good will come of it, somehow."  
  
That was the most difficult thing I have ever done. Except, possibly, saying this. "I am Tabris, and no matter what else I am, I shall always be an Angel. I almost loathe being myself, but I have no wish to die. While you are alive, you can do anything. I will not be as one of 'them', the other Angels. But I do not want you to forget... me... Do not forget Kaworu of the Seashore."  
  
Rei was temporarily lost to the mortal world. Her red eyes were wide and fixed on those of Nagisa Kaworu. We are the same. So that is why I could not let you go.   
  
Misato cried. Shinji and Asuka just stared, at a loss for what to say or do. Slowly, the both turned their heads toward each other. And realizing that they were now both looking at each other, quickly turned around again to face opposite walls.   
  
Misato required some time to compose herself. "I'm sorry...Kaworu-kun... I should not have made you go through this and tell us." She got up and made an attempt to hug him. Kaworu decided that it would be best not to avoid her, so he did not resist. Misato just stood, embracing him for some time.  
  
Amazing... I think they are seriously concerned about me. How deep is the heart of the Lilim. They even care for their most bitter of enemies.  
  
Seeing Rei still looking at him, Kaworu smiled at her over Misato's shoulder. This seemed to awaken Rei, as she blinked a few times before shifting her gaze to another area. Misato clumsily released Kaworu after a moment, returning to her seat on the couch.   
  
"We are supposed to be back at NERV for a series of tests this afternoon, seeing as we've all been through some major changes. Ayanami, you may be pleased to know that Unit 00 is being rebuilt from scratch again," Misato informed them.  
  
"Why?" Rei queried.  
  
"I suppose they didn't want to experiment with a new design, after the Unit 04 incident. Unit 00 was of a good design, and the powers that be decided to reconstruct it." There was little doubt as to whom the 'powers that be' referred to. Commander Ikari. "You do still want to pilot Unit 00, don't you."  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"They have prepared a test plug based on the old data of Unit 00 for you to synchronize with. Anyway, I thought we could get some lunch before we have the tests." Misato received no further input on the idea of lunch. Kaworu looked mildly confused, and Rei made no comments. Asuka and Shinji were staying quiet as well. Asuka... quiet? How unusual. "Shinji? Why don't you and Asuka make some food?"   
  
With only a minimal amount of grumbling, the two went over to Misato's kitchen. After a moment, Kaworu followed them looking almost... intrigued. Shinji wondered why he was looking around the kitchen as if he had never seen one before.  
  
"What would you like to eat, Kaworu-kun?" Shinji asked him.  
  
"To eat? .... What do you normally have, Rei?" Kaworu was genuinely confused now.  
  
"Noodles," she responded.  
  
"I shall have... noodles... as well, then," Kaworu replied to Shinji, who was becoming a bit suspicious. The meal, consisting largely of instant food, did not take long to prepare. Misato got out a few extra chairs, since the table was normally used for only three people. Kaworu and Rei sat on one side of the square table, Shinji and Asuka on the opposite, and Misato on the end between them. Apparently, Kaworu had no idea how to use chopsticks.  
  
"SEELE didn't teach you much, did they, Kaworu-kun," commented Misato.  
  
"I suppose not," replied Kaworu. He did not, however, have any great difficulty learning to use them, after a little practice. Rei was silent, as usual, but she did seem to pay attention to the banter associated with eating instead of ignoring everyone. For once, Asuka did not spend the entire time bragging about her accomplishments. The playful mood died once they reached Misato's car to return to NERV. Despite Asuka's considerable protests, the seating arrangements were the same as before.  
  
The four pilots split up as they reached the dressing rooms. Dressing with Kaworu around always worried Shinji, as he seemed to have no real understanding of privacy. Therefore, he was surprised when Kaworu quickly suited up without looking at him or saying anything. Even so, Shinji was relieved to find Kaworu waiting outside of the room. Asuka and Rei exited the women's locker room, a few meters away. All four of them then proceeded to the testing area.  
  
Four plugs, numbered 00 to 03, were suspended in a large room filled with LCL. The faces of the four corresponding pilots, were displayed on a screen nearby. Maya was busily making recordings of various figures, when Ritsuko and Misato entered the room.  
  
"Sempai!" Maya shouted, overjoyed to see her mentor.  
  
Ritsuko did not share her joy, however. Her face was pale, and a bit gaunt from the general lack of food during her imprisonment. The two shared a brief hug, before resuming the pilots' monitoring. "The Commander found a use for me, after all," Ritsuko replied dourly. Misato volunteered to get some coffee for her, which she accepted.  
  
To everyone's surprise, Shinji maintained the highest synchronization rate, of around 75%.  
  
As Kaworu had climbed into the rebuilt entry plug of Unit 03, he was immediately greeted by a sense of wrongness. Something was just... not right. He had been successfully linked to the plug, however.   
  
I can feel... Bardiel... in here. It does not want to assist me. It is trying to escape? What does its soul want with me?  
  
'Traitor.'  
  
The word was clear, in Kaworu's mind. Someone or something had distinctively called him a traitor. Opening his eyes, he looked to the 'wall' of the entry plug with which he could see Misato and the others in the control room.  
  
"Misato-san?" Kaworu called.  
  
"What is it, Kaworu-kun?" she responded.  
  
"Did you just hear... Someone say 'Traitor'?"  
  
"No, Kaworu-kun. Did you hear it?" Misato was surprised.  
  
"It must have been my imagination..."  
  
"Keep trying, Kaworu. You are at 34% now. I know you can do better..." Ristuko remembered how Misato had said that he could set his synchronization rate at whatever he wanted. Why wasn't he doing that now? Or was it something to do with Unit 03? Kaworu's pale features were a stark contrast against his black-blue plugsuit. If I didn't know the Fifth better, I would say he's... struggling?  
  
Kaworu's synchronization rate rose a few points, before stopping at 38%.  
  
"I don't quite understand this, but I could probably come up with a few theories," Ritsuko mumbled. "Unit 03 may not be perfectly safe... Oh well."  
  
"Ritsuko!" Misato cried, shocked. "How can you just say that? 'Oh well. If he dies, no big deal.' That's not true! There are people who care for Kaworu-kun!"  
  
Ritsuko witheld comment, this time. She moved on, examining Asuka. Asuka's eyes were closed, a look of intense concentration on her face. Whatever she was doing must have been working, as she was synchronized at 40%.  
  
"Good job, Asuka!" Misato called to her. Asuka opened her eyes momentarily before returning to the task at hand. That task being proving that she was a better pilot than Kaworu. Asuka allowed herself a small smile. She had heard the conversation between he and Misato.  
  
Ayanami Rei was having a difficult time as well. Evidently, something in Unit 00's Entry Plug did not quite recognize her. She was linked with it, but... a 25% synchronization rate wasn't very good. Perhaps it was because being here, in a plugsuit, in Unit 00's rebuilt Entry Plug stirred a lot of foreign emotions and memories in her. She could not isolate most of the seemingly random thoughts flying through her mind, but one image struck her particularly hard. Being in this entry plug, or one very similar to it, a struggle, and then... nothing. Empty whiteness. Rei was at a loss to explain the... memory?  
  
At the moment, Shinji had no inner demons to wrestle with. He knew this was what allowed him to have the synchronization rate that he did. A small part of him was concerned about Kaworu and Unit 03, and another part was happy for Asuka being able to synchronize at all, let alone have the second best rate of 40%. Rei, or whoever the girl in Unit 00's Entry Plug really was, made him feel... detached. Detached was a fairly good state of mind to be in, apparently.  
  
The tests ended without incident, even if the results were unusual. Supposedly, this Rei could set her own synchronization rate as could Kaworu. Ritsuko saw no reason for the two to set themselves such a low rate, unless it had something to do with Asuka. That wasn't a very good explanation, though. Kaworu had indicated that ...something... did not want him in Unit 03's Entry Plug, and Rei had displayed an uncharacteristic lack of control over her mind. She seemed to be indulging in a long series of completely random thoughts. Ayanami Rei indulging herself in anything was a foreign concept to nearly everyone who knew her.  
  
"By the way, Major. I've been told that a minor AT Field, blue pattern, was detected in your apartment this morning. Care to explain that?" Ritsuko questioned Misato.  
  
"Nothing to be concerned with. Kaworu-kun was demonstrating what he could do in the event that Unit 03 went berserk with him in it for Shinji-kun," Misato replied defensively.  
  
"And what did he do?" Ristuko pushed.  
  
"Ask him yourself, Ritsuko." Misato was getting angry at Ritsuko's impudence.  
  
Meanwhile, Kaworu and Shinji were emerging from the men's locker room.  
  
"Shinji-kun. Can you tell me what originally happened with Unit 03?" Kaworu asked. Shinji then related the tale of the Thirteenth Angel and the Dummy Plug system.  
  
"The Black Eva, Unit 03, was never started properly. On the first attempt with a pilot, it was possessed by an Angel. The Angel had the form of nano-machines, and it prevented the entry plug from being ejected fully. It had defeated all of us, when my father..." Shinji paused with a shudder to express his hatred for Ikari Gendou. "He used the Dummy Plug system to take control of my Unit 01. The Dummy Plug is completely heartless. I think it is actually worse than the Angels... Sorry, Kaworu-kun..."  
  
So. That explains the other presence inside the entry plug.  
  
"What ever happened to Touji, Shinji-kun? I feel a need to do something for him..."  
  
"He is still in the hospital after having a... double amputation..." Shinji replied, depressed by reliving the experience. The two headed towards an elevator for the infirmary. Asuka, noticing them going somewhere, followed, accompanied by Rei. The two did not intentionally go together, they simply had the same destination in mind. Reaching the elevator, Shinji and Kaworu turned around and noticed their company.  
  
"Hello, Rei. Asuka." Kaworu bowed slightly to her.  
  
"Looks as if someone knows who the best pilot of Unit 02 is," Asuka said to no-one in particular, but loud enough for everyone to hear. She was quite pleased with herself. "Shinji-kun," she asked, "Where are you two going?"  
  
"Kaworu-kun wanted to go see Touji," Shinji responded. He really didn't know why Asuka was taking a sudden interest in what he was doing, but maybe she just wanted to reinforce the fact that she had a better score than 'the Angel' or 'Wonder-girl'. Shinji sighed, thinking of all Asuka's names for his friends. He was then reminded that he really had no idea who this Rei was.  
  
Touji lay in a room quite similar to the one Asuka had just been released from. He was not, however, sleeping when they arrived. Touji was sitting up in his bed, watching some mindless T.V. program. What he was really trying to do was to forget reality. Touji's temporary leave from life was revoked as he heard a knock on his door. Shinji, Asuka, Rei, and Kaworu walked in to the four walls that had been the only thing Touji had known for weeks.  
  
"Shinji! It's good to see you, man! I was worried you had forgotten about me. You make some new friends while I've been gone?" Touji said. After introducing himself briefly, Kaworu sat on the bed next to Touji. This was rather disturbing for Touji, who tried to shrink away from him.  
  
"I am sorry for your condition, Touji." Kaworu was unsure how he was going to take this... "But I want to help you." Saying this, Kaworu faced Touji completely. Touji nearly fainted as a clean hole opened up through Kaworu's shirt, into his abdomen, about halfway down, revealing... the red orb of an S2 organ, about the size of a baseball, and it was giving off a lurid red glow. "If you want to be healed... Touch the core, Touji..." Cautiously, he extended his good arm towards the core. Kaworu's head shot back in pain as Touji's fingers came into contact with the object. Immediately after doing so, Touji released it. It was not hot to the touch, nor was it wet with blood. His hand came away clean. He did faint as he felt... something... running out of where his amputated arm and leg had been. It stretched downwards, reforming into two perfect limbs. After he was sure the regeneration had finished, Kaworu closed the gap in his shirt and chest.  
  
Asuka screamed. Not long afterwards, Touji awoke. Shinji offered Touji his hand, to help him get up off the bed. Standing for the first time in months on his own two legs, Touji took a few steps around the room experimentally. Touji looked towards Kaworu, who smiled encouragingly. He took a step forward. Touji's recently regenerated fist connected with Kaworu's cheek, sending him back a few inches. A loud *CRACK* was heard in the hall. Kaworu fell to his knees.  
  
Seeing Kaworu hurt for doing a good thing had an unusual effect on Rei. A new emotion came over her... Anger. Rei rushed over and knelt down beside him. Kaworu just smiled at her. That was enough to calm her down some. After a moment, two sets of red eyes looked up towards Touji, who was looking much as he did after hitting Shinji.  
  
"Thank you, Kaworu-kun..." Touji began. "But, even so, that's for being an Angel. Here. Get up..." Touji extended his new arm, to Kaworu. Kaworu allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. He smiled at Touji.  
  
"It was the least I could do, Touji," Kaworu replied. He did not seem to be particulary offended at being struck. Kaworu walked out of the room, followed by Rei. Shinji and Asuka stayed behind. Shinji, to bring Touji up to speed regarding the developements of late. Asuka... Asuka didn't know why she stayed behind, but she was beginning to feel uncomfortable around Kaworu.  
  
"Are you well?" Rei asked him.  
  
"Of course, Rei. I am fine," Kaworu responded with his usual smile.  
  
Is that what it means to be an Angel?  
  
After Shinji and Asuka left, Touji was alone again in his hospital room. He had no idea what the doctors were going to do with him, or to Kaworu. At the moment, he didn't care. It was good not to be a cripple any longer. Sighing, he laid back down on his bed, turned the T.V. back on, and waited for the inevitable confrontation with NERV's medical personnel.  
  
Seeing Rei and Kaworu just standing outside the room doing nothing made Asuka suspicious. She said nothing, however, and just went with them calmly to wait for Misato so they could go home. Asuka was not going to do anything just yet. Fortunately, Misato was already waiting for them in the parking garage when they reached her.  
  
This time, Asuka did not complain about the seating. Instead, she just stole the front seat before Shinji could do get in. Shinji simply gave a loud sigh and sat down next to Rei in the back seat behind Asuka. After they got off the noisy express elevator, Shinji started thinking on how to tell Misato about Touji. Asuka beat him to it.  
  
"Do you know what we did this afternoon, Misato-san?" Asuka asked sweetly.  
  
"Took some synchronization tests, of which you had the second-best score?" Misato replied dryly.  
  
"After that..." Asuka indicated.  
  
"......" Misato gave no response.  
  
"Kaworu-kun wanted to go visit Touji-san," Asuka said, a bit sarcastically. "So we did. But when we got to his room... Kaworu-kun let Touji touch his Angel core."  
  
Misato did not like the direction this conversation was taking. Angel core?   
  
"...So now, Touji has his arm and leg back!" Shinji interrupted. Misato didn't know whether to be happy or to cry. So much for not using the power of the Angels... Asuka looked behind her to give Shinji a dirty look for ruining her story.  
  
"I'm sorry, Asuka!" was Shinji's instant response.  
  
Before returning her gaze to the front of the vehicle, Asuka noticed four red eyes looking at her questioningly. Glittering red eyes... the same red as a certain Angel's core. Immediately, Asuka sat bolt upright in her seat, her attention suddenly riveted to the street in front of her.  
  
Wonder-girl... You're an Angel, too, aren't you...   
  
Shinji was disturbed, to say the least, by Asuka's reaction. "Asuka... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to ruin your story..." He really did not know just what the cause of it was, but Shinji felt an obligation to do something for her.  
  
"No... It's not you, Shinji-kun..." Asuka could not turn around to speak to him, for it would have meant being face-to-face with not one, but two Angels sitting in the back seat of Misato's car. How exactly is it that two Angels can exist at the same time? Beyond that, how is it that the rest of us are still alive?  
  
Needless to say, the rest of the trip home passed in total silence. Asuka wore a tense expression, as if she thought two of the... beings... in the back seat were going to suddenly attack her.   
  
Arriving once again at Misato's apartment, the four pilots spent a while talking, watching television, or just sitting around, in Rei's case. Dinner was almost the same as lunch, except that Asuka did not help prepare it, this time. Instead, Kaworu and Rei assisted Shinji in heating the food, most of which was ready-made. Asuka did, however, stand around and watch the two closely. Somehow, seeing Kaworu checking on instant rice, or Rei adding water to a pan for her noodles did much to dispel the idea that the two were Angels, right down to their cores. Would true Angels waste time doing something like eating? Maybe they would, if they were trying to live with humanity instead of destroy it. Asuka even allowed herself a smile when Rei's noodles accidentally boiled over. She held her tongue, even so.  
  
Conversation over dinner, a surprising phenomena in and of itself, drifted back towards Touji and the events of the afternoon.  
  
"So Touji has his arm and leg back, just as if he had never been injured?" Misato asked.  
  
"That's right. He had to get up and amble around the room to make sure he could. Then he..." Shinji paused, realizing his mouth had gotten ahead of his mind again.  
  
"Then what?" prompted Misato.  
  
"Well... Then he hit Kaworu-kun in the cheek," Shinji said nervously.  
  
"Why'd he do that?!" Misato knew the answer even before hearing it, though.  
  
"On account of my being an Angel," Kaworu replied simply.  
  
Misato reached across the table and pinched him, just to make sure his cheek was alright. "You seem fine to me..."  
  
"I am. I understand his actions..." Kaworu assured her.  
  
"Not that I haven't felt like slapping you for the same reason, you know..." Misato responded. "Maybe I will..."  
  
"I would understand if you did, Misato-san," Kaworu said with a smile.  
  
"Well..." Misato thought about it for a moment. That would probably relieve a lot of stress... "I can't really slap someone who smiles like that," Misato joked. Slapping Kaworu in front of Shinji wouldn't do, anyway.  
  
"Thank you, Misato-san," he said. Misato noticed Kaworu about to take a bite of chicken from the frozen stir-fry Shinji, he, and Rei had prepared.  
  
"Ah... Kaworu-kun?" Misato quickly set down her beer. "You probably shouldn't eat that..." She stopped, unsure how to tell him what the scientists had predicted about Rei. She was not to eat meat for some obscure reason which had never been quite explained to her. "It might... not... be good for your... ah... complexion..." Misato immediately realized just how idiotic what she had just said was. Kaworu then proceeded to eat it. Shit! I don't want to have a violently sick Angel on my hands!   
  
"Why's that? It tastes fine to me..." Shinji and Asuka stared at Misato, wondering why she had told him that obvious fabrication. Misato stared at Kaworu, expecting him to start retching at any moment. Rei made a mental note of the matter, but resumed eating shortly thereafter. She knew that this had something to do with her. Misato took a long drink from her Yebisu to cover up her embarrassment. Maybe not everything that was true for Rei would be true for Kaworu. No real harm in trying to stop him...  
  
Asuka gave Misato a strange look. Shinji's attention was temporarily occupied by the patterns on Misato's new tablecloth, before he, too, quietly continued eating. That was about enough to kill the tentative conversation Misato had tried to begin, knowing that it would be difficult, at best, for some of her pilots to adjust. Sighing, she finished the rest of her beer in one long gulp.  
  
After helping clean up, Kaworu and Rei prepared to leave.  
  
"Don't you need a ride?" Misato called as they were heading for the door.  
  
"We'll be fine, Misato-san. Thank you for the offer," Kaworu replied. The two then walked out into the near-darkness of Tokyo-3. Kaworu was humming his favorite piece, "An Ode to Joy", as they exited the apartment complex and stepped out into the street. Rei listened to the rhythm of the tune, saying nothing.  
  
"Don't you think that song is the finest achievement of the human race?" Kaworu asked her, after a few blocks.  
  
Rei stopped to think for a moment, before saying, "I think... we are."  
  
"We are? Angels? Eva pilots whose units are rejecting us? Sometimes, I wonder if they would be better off without us."  
  
"We have brought joy to the life of... Ikari Shinji-kun... You and I," Rei responded quietly.  
  
"Yes. But at whose expense? His."  
  
"That is true. For the Lilim, nothing is without price." Kaworu was surprised to hear Rei using his term, 'Lilim'. The two continued on in silence until they reached Rei's apartment, which was closer than Kaworu's.  
  
"Good night, Kaworu-kun," Rei said, surprising him.  
  
"Good night, Rei...chan..." She rose her eyebrows at him. Rei-chan? No-one had ever called her Rei-chan. She was so deep in thought she did not notice as he disappeared into the night. 


	4. Part 3: The AT Field

Obviously, Evangelion and all related characters are copyrights of Gainax, etc. etc. etc. This is not written for profit. Feel free to distrubute, but please do not remove this disclaimer. Thanks, Kerristallax (kerristallax@yahoo.com)  
  
  
The Kaworu Chronicles  
Part 3: The AT Field  
  
Rei was left standing in her doorway, still contemplating the Kaworu's words. 'Rei-chan'. Finally, she realized that she had been standing for a very long time, and went inside. Entering, Rei realized that she was beginning to... dislike... this apartment. Its small size and foul conditions were eroding her supposedly infinite patience.   
  
I didn't know I could... lose patience... But... I didn't think someone would ever call me 'Rei-chan', either. Tabris...  
  
Rei sat down on her bed, which happened to be the only place to sit on in her apartment.  
  
How did he do that?  
  
Rei's pale skin began to give off a white phosphorescence.  
  
Was it something... like... this?  
  
Rei disappeared.  
  
Shinji had since then retired to bed, although he was yet unable to sleep. His mind was drifting, thinking about everything and nothing. He lay on his back; his eyes were closed, but not in sleep. No sounds reached him, due to the earbuds of his SDAT player. But even with his eyes shut, Shinji could sense the room become lighter. He figured that it was Misato, come to check on him, try to cheer him up, or just wandering around after one too many beers. This was not abnormal for Misato, so Shinji kept his eyes closed and feigned sleep.  
  
Ayanami Rei stood in Shinji's room, surrounded by an almost tangible white glow and suspended a few inches above the ground. Her outward appearance was calm and peaceful. Rei's mind, however, was in a state of open and total warfare with her.  
  
*BLINK*  
  
Ikari Shinji, holding me in my hospital bed before Unit 01's monstrous visage. His father... trying to convince Shinji to pilot. Using me to convince him... to be a pilot... Ikari Shinji, trying to comfort me. He tries to take away the pain, and almost succeeds. Close enough. It made me feel... happy... inside...  
  
*BLINK*  
  
Ikari Shinji, prying open Unit 00's Entry Plug after I saved him. I... smiled... at him when he opened that hatch. He was concerned about me, and not just as a fellow pilot...  
  
*BLINK*  
  
I slapped Ikari Shinji-kun. He doubted the Commander, and I slapped him for it. I did not realize... there was no reason... no reason to trust the Commander...  
  
*BLINK*  
  
Ikari Gendou. The Sixteenth Angel. Commander Ikari Gendou had made sure that the self-destruct system was armed and ready for use. Ikari Gendou... made sure... there were explosives... explosives inside my Entry Plug. He wanted me dead...  
  
*BLINK*  
  
But here I stand.  
  
The last image shook Rei out of her reverie.  
  
What have they done to me? I am... the source of light in this room?  
  
*BLINK*  
  
I woke up in a tank of LCL. Akagi Ritsuko was watching intensely when I awoke.  
  
*BLINK*  
  
All the memories my third self had accumulated in her short time returned in an instant, appearing like images played on fast forward.  
  
A tear? Am I crying? Why? Crying... I am... an Angel... Ikari Shinji-kun must find me... loathesome.  
  
Rei floated over to Shinji. A tear was running down her cheek, soon to be joined by another one. They sparkled against the darkness, reflecting her light before falling onto Shinji's arm. This brought Shinji back to full awareness, although he did not get up just yet. He shuddered convulsively, seeming to shrink away from her. Shinji's eyes were pinched shut, afraid of what they might see. Rei reached out to touch his face...  
  
Shinji's eyes shot open. He grabbed her wrist, which had been slowly moving toward him.  
  
"Misato-san!" he shouted before registering who was standing over him. "What are you..."  
Red eyes. Pale, glowing skin. Finally, short, blue hair which floated about as if it was underwater. She was glowing white and... was... suspended in mid-air.  
  
Shinji screamed. Very loudly. To Rei, this was a confirmation of her worst fears. She continued to float there, her arm grasped tightly by Shinji's hand. Her tears fell freely, now. The glow around her was slowly fading, and she heard footsteps in the hall coming rapidly nearer. The door to Shinji's room flew open, knocking the sign "Shinji's Lonely Suite" to the floor. It made little sound, but it seemed loud in the silence of the night.  
  
Soryu Asuka Langley stood in the doorway. She did not believe what her eyes were telling her. Ayanami Rei slowly set herself down on the floor, the dirty yellow light of the hall spilling into the room and reflecting brightly off her tear-filled red eyes. Abrubtly, the nimbus around Rei faded completely.  
  
This isn't happening. Wonder-girl is in Shinji-kun's room. Crying. SHE never cries. I have never seen her cry.  
  
Rei slowly turned towards the open door, gradually raising her head. She was still crying profusely. Asuka could only stare, her gaze moving back and forth from Shinji to Rei. Rei seemed to be looking for... forgiveness? Pity? Understanding? She did not appear to have found it.  
  
"Ikari... Shinji... kun..." Rei's voice sounded odd; as if it had not been used in some time. "I'm... so... sorry..." A moment later, and Rei faded from view and disappeared completely.  
  
After Rei had gone, Asuka's brain returned to its normal state. Rei had done nothing to her, it was just that the combination of events was too much for her to take in. Shinji looked at her before collapsing weakly on his bed. Asuka hesitated, but went over to Shinji's bedside. His last memory before sleep and blessed oblivion took him was of a tall, red-haired girl standing next to him, holding his hand.  
  
Rei reappeared, not within her own apartment, but nearby in Kaworu's. At first, she was confused. Although she really did not understand how this worked, it seemed that you went where you concentrated on. It then occurred to her that what she really wanted was someone to understand her.  
  
Something must be very wrong if I want someone to talk to. But... I am... an Angel... Is it possible for life to go any more wrong than that?  
  
She stood, unmoving, in the middle of the floor for what felt like hours to her. Her white aura was absent, however. Kaworu lay on his back, making no motions save for a low, easy breathing. The pale moonlight shown in his alizarin eyes, revealing them to be open. Neither of them spoke immediately.  
  
"It feels cold, doesn't it, Rei..." Kaworu said softly after inclining his head to face her.  
  
"I have never known such cold..." Rei responded shakily.  
  
"So now, you know that you are as I am. Is that so unusual? We are what we were made to be."  
  
"Yes... But... I am Ayanami Rei. I am not one of... the Angels..."  
  
"True."  
  
"Kaworu-kun... What am I? I am not accepted by... Shinji-kun... I do not feel angry at him, but... I am sorry... I do not even know what I have lost... It seems that we will never be together, now. Who am I? I do not even know who Ayanami Rei is... Today... I remember what the true meaning of the Human Instrumentality Project is. It means... that Commander Ikari will use anyone, kill anyone, do anything to achieve his goals. He used me. He killed me. I think... that he uses me still. He would use Shinji-kun, if it suited his purposes!" Rei was startled at the vehemence in her voice, and stopped. She was becoming lost in her old self.  
  
Tears, again? What is happening to me? Which one is me?  
  
Kaworu stood up. "Rei-chan... I share your loss; I have felt as you do." Rei noticed that his skin was alight, giving off cool, white illumination. She also noticed that he wasn't walking. He was floating towards her. In response, Rei did the same. The darkness of the room was banished, making it appear as the day.  
  
"What are you doing, Kaworu-kun?" Rei asked curiously.  
  
Kaworu gave no response, he merely held out his hands to her. Palm upwards. Rei, for the first time, saw the palms of Tabris.   
  
"It is said that he who will not show his palms has no soul," Kaworu explained.  
  
There was nothing unusual about them. She looked down to her own hands. They were the same. Cautiously, Rei placed her hands in his. Doing so, she felt... strange. Rei became acutely aware of every detail in the room. She could hear his and her own heart beating, could feel the passage of the air they breathed. With her suddenly heightened awareness, she could feel an invisible barrier between them, between their minds, as if it had physical form. The AT Field. Had Kaworu raised his AT Field? Rei saw, again, that he was smiling to her. She blushed, without even knowing why she did so. The wall between them was becoming... stronger? The room had become almost intolerably bright. Rei wondered if she would go blind. She did the only thing she could. Ayanami Rei raised her own AT Field, in exactly the opposite pattern of the one in front of her. Kaworu's smile and his red eyes were the last impressions her mind registered before everything went black.  
  
Rei was surrounded by darkness. She could see nothing, hear nothing.  
  
Rei:Am I dead? Is this what it's like... to die?  
  
Kaworu:No. You are alive. We are alive.  
  
Rei:Where am I? Who are you?  
  
Kaworu:I am Tabris. You are within my mind.  
  
Rei:Within your mind? But... there is no stray thought-noise.  
  
Kaworu:I am alone. You are alone. But, we are alone together. The AT Field is gone. The wall within your mind and my own has dissipated.  
  
Rei:What do you mean? Have we caused the Impact?  
  
Kaworu:No. This will not last forever. It is a temporal thing.  
  
Rei:Why am I here?  
  
Kaworu:Is not that the question which all the Lilim seek? You are within my mind because you wanted to know.  
  
Rei:To know what?  
  
Kaworu:Who is Ayanami Rei?  
  
*BLINK*  
  
I am Ayanami Rei. The Commander ordered me to go to Unit 01 because the Third Child had refused to pilot it. But the Third Child saw my pain and agreed. I was merely a stimulus to coerce the Third Child into piloting.  
  
I shielded the Third Child with my body, with my Eva. How it burned. The Angel hit us with a cross-flare. I was merely a human shield for the Commander's son.  
  
Who is my enemy? The Angels? No. I am an Angel.  
  
Ikari Shinji loved me. No, he hates me for being an Angel. Does he? No, Ikari Shinji loved the Second Child. No, the Second Child hates him. Does she?  
  
What is that? Is it... what might be? Is it what might have been?  
  
The Fourth Child was crippled when I smashed his Entry Plug with Unit 01. No, that was the dummy plug system. I am the dummy plug system?  
  
The Fourth Child struck Nagisa-kun after he had been healed. Nagisa-kun is an Angel. Why do we hate Angels? We wanted nothing so much as we wanted to create them. I am the product of this creation, as is Nagisa-kun.  
  
No! I am a human.  
  
No! I am an Angel.  
  
I will never be accepted. I am both, but I am neither.  
  
Do I really have the best of both worlds, Nagisa-kun?  
  
*BLINK*  
  
Once again, all is darkness.  
  
"You have my sympathies..."  
  
"I mean that... I love you..."  
  
"Rei...chan"  
  
What is happiness?  
  
"Happiness is..."  
  
Knowing...  
  
"That other people care..."  
  
Even if they aren't human  
  
*BLINK*  
  
"You are the First Child, Ayanami Rei, and you are the same as I in that we have both chosen the Lilim's form..."  
  
Did we choose, Kaworu-kun? Why is it necessary that this be so difficult? Shinji-kun cannot love us, either of us. We are not even of the same species. We're so... alone...  
  
"No... We are humans, Rei..."  
  
Are we? Then why don't they treat us as if we are?  
  
"They don't understand..."  
  
Are you sure it isn't we who don't understand?  
  
"No..."  
  
Ikari... Gendou... You are... responsible... for this...  
  
Rei's mind was becoming increasingly fragmented, unconsciously knowing that time was running out.  
  
How I hate you... for what you have done... to me... and to Shinji-kun... You killed me! You'd kill any of us...  
  
*BLINK*  
  
That was Rei's last thought before the AT Field reformed.  
  
Misato, amazingly, was not drunk that night. In fact, she was so completely sober that she decided to have another beer before trying to get back to sleep. Walking from her room to the kitchen, so noticed the light in the hall was turned on. A closer inspection revealed that Shinji's door was open, and the sign had been knocked off. Suddenly alarmed, Misato ran over to the room.  
  
"Shinji-kun!" Misato was worried, although she had no idea what to expect. She was more than a mildly shocked when she saw Asuka standing next to a sleeping Shinji. Shinji did not awaken, and fortunately so, but Asuka turned and walked slowly out of the room.   
  
She doesn't look guilty... If it was been anyone else, I'd say... She looks concerned. Maybe I need a beer more than I thought I did.  
  
Misato moved back to the kitchen to quench her thirst, when she noticed that Asuka had not returned to her room. In fact, Asuka was right behind her. Misato grabbed a cold Yebisu from the refrigerator and sat down at the table. Asuka took the chair next to her.  
  
"Well?" Misato prompted her.  
  
"Ayanami... was... in Shinji-kun's room. Somehow, she was."  
  
"What?!" Misato asked in total surprise.  
  
"I can only guess how she got in, but it was probably the same way that she left," Asuka replied.  
  
"How's that?"  
  
"She just... appeared..." Asuka continued. "This afternoon, when I was sitting in the car talking about Touji, I looked back at Shinji and those two." Asuka intentionally avoided naming them. "I knew then that... Wonder-girl is an Angel, too. And tonight... I haven't seen any person who could disappear, or who were surrounded in a white glow. Except for... Nagisa Kaworu."  
  
Misato was at a loss for words.  
  
"I don't know what she did to Shinji-kun, but... I went in to his room after I heard him scream. It was very loud. And I saw... Ayanami Rei. She was floating in the air at first, but slowly fell down. Then I noticed that she was crying..." Asuka spoke with a strange detachment which was completely new to her. She was always ready to provide her usually strong opinions on anything, but tonight had made her feel... empty.  
  
"I suppose... we should let Shinji-kun get some sleep, tonight. There will be time enough to ask him tomorrow," Misato said, still unsure of what to make of these developements. Any other time, she might have questioned the truth of Asuka's words. But with circumstances as they are, the explanation made almost perfect sense. As much sense as could be expected, at least... Misato drained the last of her beer and returned to her room.  
  
Asuka sat at the table for some time longer, reviewing what she had seen over and over in her mind.  
  
How does Wonder-girl, no... Ayanami, feel about Shinji-kun? Why exactly was she crying? I know some things have changed about her since I saw her last, but... I don't understand... I don't like... seeing other people... hurt him... What am I saying?  
  
Asuka shook her head, just to make sure she was still thinking clearly. Deciding that she was not, she, too, retired to bed for the night. Now that it was almost half-over...  
  
Shinji awoke early, feeling a powerful desire for answers. The sun was starting to peek over the horizon, staining Tokyo-3 a fabulous shade of blood red. He pulled on some clothes, left a note to Misato or whoever was up first, and went outside. The weather was still cool this early in the morning, and it was almost pleasant. Sighing, Shinji started the short trek over to Ayanami Rei's apartment. Walking with an energy he did not truly feel, he arrived quickly at Rei's door.  
  
The morning was still quiet, few people being about this early. Shinji's knocking on Rei's door seemed exceptionally loud to him, so he imagined it would have aroused her. Then again, did she even need to sleep? Shinji was still considering this several minutes later, when no answer came. Cautiously, he turned the doorknob. It opened; Rei rarely locked her apartment. Entering brought some less-than-enjoyable memories to Shinji's mind. He had been entrusted with giving Rei her new key-card. Rei had been in the shower at the time. Sigh. Now, there was no water running, nothing. Surprisingly, the bed was made. Rei never made her bed, or cleaned up.   
  
But... This girl isn't really Rei, is she...  
  
Not far away, Rei was beginning to stir. A cursory, half-awake look around the room revealed that it was her own, or similar enough to pass as her own. She felt tired, something she did not expect. Equally surprising was that she was lying in the middle of the floor. Rei sat up, wondering how she had gotten in this position. Deciding that such matters could be better debated by someone else at a much later time, and still suffering from exhaustion, Rei felt that a little more sleep was in order. She sighed, yawned, and slowly lay down again. Seconds later, she realized that her head was resting on something soft, warm, and breathing. Rei gave a startled gasp and got up quickly. She had laid on... someone's chest. He was tall, lanky, pale-skinned, gray-haired, and apparently quite deeply asleep.  
  
At that moment, Rei recalled everything. In remembering, she was united as one person. No longer three bodies joined by a collective soul, Ayanami Rei was a single being with a single soul. Despite what felt like a defeat to her last night, the knowledge of herself comforted Rei.   
  
I can go on... Even if I am an Angel. Thank you, Kaworu-kun. ...... I'll deal with Ikari Shinji-kun later. Right now, it is not of consequence.  
  
Rei leaned back, her head coming to rest lightly on Tabris-kun's chest. She was starting to drift back into the nether realm of sleep when a knock sounded at the door. A sharp, angry knock. Rei ignored it, reasoning that the person at the door could be Shinji, Misato, Asuka, or possibly some nosy NERV agent. She really didn't care if any of those people saw her, now. Ikari Shinji turned the handle and walked in. As he expected, the door was not locked.   
  
"Ayanami! I... ah... I'm sorry!" Shinji stammered, blushing in embarrassment. There was Ayanami Rei and Nagisa Kaworu, lying on the middle of the floor. The two were fully clothed, and did not look as if they had been otherwise, but Shinji still felt as if he had interrupted something intimate. It took him a while to realize that Kaworu was asleep.  
  
"It's all right, Shinji-kun," Rei assured him. She made no move to get up from where she was laying. The sound of someone running at full tilt drew Shinji's attention outside the door. He saw Soryu Asuka Langley running towards him as fast as she could. Asuka being athletic as she was, this was quite an impressive speed.  
  
"Shinji-kun!" Asuka shouted as she flew through the door. "I..." Asuka stopped as her mind took in the scene before her. Other than Rei and Shinji lying together like that, Rei and Kaworu were the very last two... people... she would have expected. She said nothing, and just stood inside the doorway, breathing hard from her run here.  
  
"Good morning, Soryu-san," Kaworu said to her, good-naturedly. This attracted everyone's attention, as they had all assumed that he was asleep. Kaworu was still on the floor, but his eyes were wide open and focused.  
  
Why's he so damned respectful?  
  
"What are you two doing?! That's indecent! And in front of Shinji-kun!" Asuka admonished them. Shinji's face turned bright red.  
  
"Sleeping is indecent?" Rei asked innocently.  
  
"You know what I mean!"  
  
What's going on? Did Rei just make... a joke?  
  
Rei arose from the floor, followed almost immediately by Kaworu.  
  
"Good to see you've decided to behave decently..." Asuka laughed nervously, considering the hilarity of the statement. If the morning was anything to judge by, this was going to be the strangest day of her life. "We had might as well go wake up Misato-san..." Rei and Kaworu quickly walked outside before she had finished speaking.  
  
Asuka was the last one to leave the apartment. She had allowed the others to go ahead because she wanted to keep a close eye on Rei and Kaworu. Those two seemed to act weirder as time went on, not the other way around. Shinji stayed closer to Asuka than to the others.  
  
This world really has gone insane, hasn't it...  
  
Shinji considered this proposition for most of the walk to the complex. So far, he had been given no reason to think otherwise. When they arrived at Misato's door, he knocked politely before entering. Misato and Pen Pen were sitting at the table, calmly eating toast. Surprisingly, Misato was dressed in her work attire already. Generally, she did not even get up until at least 10:00.   
  
That must mean... that she has to go to NERV early. Let's hope there are no more tests today. Somehow, I doubt that, though.  
  
"Good morning, Misato-san," Kaworu greeted her.  
  
Misato looked up from her toast at her four pilots. Rei was still wearing her school uniform, the same as she always did. So were Shinji and Kaworu. Asuka was wearing whatever she felt like.  
  
"Asuka! We have to go soon! Get ready!" Misato yelled.  
  
"What?! Just me? Why not the others?!" Asuka demanded to know.  
  
"I don't know. Doctor Akagi has some special test or something for you."  
  
"Lucky me..." Asuka moaned.  
  
Minutes later, Asuka was being hauled out to Misato's car. It was not that she minded the tests so much; they were a chance to show her worth in numerical values which could be easily compared to the others. What worried Asuka was that Shinji would be alone with Rei and Kaworu for most of the morning.  
  
When they met Akagi Ritsuko, she gave Asuka one additional instruction.  
  
"Don't put on your plugsuit. There's not to be any interference between you and Unit 02."  
  
Asuka sighed. She hoped they had outgrown the naked tests long ago. Oh well. At least Shinji wasn't here to peek. Minutes later, she was sitting in Unit 02's Entry Plug, waiting for some mysterious test to begin. No-one had explained to her just what was going to happen. Asuka closed her eyes, just as she did for an ordinary synchronization test. Therefore, she did not notice immediately when a dissolved blue solid was placed into the LCL with her. When Asuka realized that the liquid had suddenly become even more foul-tasting than usual, she opened her eyes in shock. Doing so, Asuka saw that the LCL had turned a dark blue. She passed out soon afterwards.  
  
Ritsuko looked on from her usual monitoring area. She was mildly surprised that the Commander had asked for this to be performed at all, especially on the Second Child and so soon after her release from imprisonment. Perhaps this was the real use he had planned for her. The procedure was not very risky, but it would probably be painful if Asuka had not had the good fortune to pass out. It would be even more painful when and if her body eventually decided to rebel. This never had been done properly, permanently before. But Commander Ikari evidently didn't give a damn about the long-term health of his pilots.  
  
Akagi Ritsuko then recalled the circumstances leading up to her release. The Commander, may he be damned, had gotten her out of that dark cell on the condition that she perform a new procedure on the Second Child. Apparently, although the other three were still viable Eva pilots, none of them could be used to cause the Third Impact. If this failed... Well, the Fourth Child had been miraculously healed. He was still a candidate. His synchronization rates weren't bad... But, the Second had far more experience, and was not under any great obligation to the Fifth. Ritsuko suspected the Fifth had something to do with Asuka's sudden recovery, but if he did, it was nothing like what he did to the Fourth. The case for the new Rei was almost hopeless, to the Commander. A massive blue pattern, which Ritsuko knew to be, in reality, two patterns, had been detected in the general area of Rei and Kaworu's living quarters last night. Ikari Gendou had almost given up on using her as the 'catalyst' to cause the Impact. Now... He was running out of options.  
  
The only question is... Why am I assisting him? Do I want to be re-united with the ones I love? Of course. But... The cost... I don't believe I am willing to lose myself... Even as pathetic as I am, there are still people who look up to me. Maya...  
  
Three hours later, the blue residue had just been washed off Asuka's still-unconscious body. It looked as if this stage of the procedure had been successful, although there would be no way to tell until Asuka was awake. Wondering if she had just made a serious mistake, Ritsuko covered Asuka with a blanket and left the room. Shortly thereafter, Misato threw open the door.  
  
"Asuka! Are you all right?" she shouted.  
  
At this, Asuka stirred beneath the bedclothes. She struggled to open her eyelids, which seemed to be heavily weighted down.  
  
"M...Misato-san..." Asuka croaked. "What happened..."  
  
"I don't know, Asuka. Ritsuko said that something had gone wrong. She says you're safe now, though. You're not hurt," Misato answered with concern. She had known of no faults with Unit 02.  
  
"I don't feel well..." Asuka then realized that she was wearing nothing. Even though she was in a bed now, someone had certainly taken the opportunity to be a pervert and peek. "What did they do with my clothes?!" Asuka was getting angry. "I have to come down here on a weekend, while the others get to stay at home. Then, I can't even wear a plugsuit for some test. Unit 02 is a piece of fine German engineering. There's no problems with it. And of course, there's no problems with me. The problem is that 'Doctor Akagi' put something blue in the LCL. I don't know what it was..." Asuka continued giving her account of what had been done to her.  
  
"I'll... get your clothes back, Asuka..." Saying this, Misato ran off. Asuka waited impatiently for her to return, a distinctively sour expression staining her face. Misato did not take long to come back. She deposited Asuka's clothes on a chair, and then left to give her some privacy. Finally alone, Asuka stood up. Her body appeared to be in one piece.  
  
At least someone has a sense of decency... But I can't believe I'm saying that about Misato, of all people. What a day...  
  
It was after 12:30 P.M. when they returned at last to Misato's apartment.  
  
Earlier, Shinji had been watching television to pass the time. He sat on one end of the couch, while Rei and Kaworu sat on the opposite end. No-one spoke much, but they simply enjoyed each other's company and being together, without the burden of combat or Eva. At least for now...  
  
After some time, Rei turned to him. "Shinji-kun... Do you know... what I am?" she inquired softly.  
  
Shinji gestured to Kaworu, who smiled in return. "...Yes. I do..."  
  
"Shinji-kun... You must... hate me... for what I am. For deceiving you..." Rei's voice was uneven as she said this. This was her greatest fear, now that her memories had been recovered.  
  
"I don't hate you, Ayanami," Shinji responded.  
  
"Can't you call me 'Rei'?" she pleaded.  
  
"Who are you, Rei? Which... one are you?" Shinji replied.  
  
"I am... Ayanami Rei. There is only one Ayanami, and I am that one. I... I can remember, now... I remember all the awful things the Commander has done to us... I can remember you... I'm sorry... Shinji-kun..." Rei was on the verge of tears again.   
  
"I think... I understand, Rei..." She had surprised him again. He did not know how Rei had recovered her memories, but the shy smile she had bestowed on Kaworu gave him an idea. Still, she had been killed in Unit 00's self destruct during the battle with the Sixteenth Angel.  
  
Rei seemed to be comforted by this. "Thank you, Shinji-kun..." Shinji smiled to her.  
  
Noticing the time, he decided to make some lunch for Misato and Asuka before they returned. Shinji, Rei, and Kaworu were sitting down at the table to eat when Misato, followed by a somehow less-than-pleased Asuka, entered the kitchen.   
  
Misato grabbed a cold can of Yebisu before coming to the table. She drained most of it in one long swallow, but did not let out with her characteristic whoop. Asuka stood near the table, eliciting a very curious look from Kaworu. After standing still for a moment, she realized that she reeked of LCL.  
  
"I must have forgotten to shower after the tests today, Misato-san... I'm going to go bathe..." Asuka was conscious of the strange stares she was getting, particularly the one from Kaworu. Rei looked mildly interested, Shinji was concerned, and Misato was concentrating on her beer.  
  
"Don't you want anything to eat?" Misato asked her.  
  
"Not right now... I don't really feel hungry..." Asuka seemed to be evading something, and the lack of her normally confident manner was setting off alarms with Shinji. He stood up and walked over to her.   
  
"Are you all-right, Asuka?" She was touched by the care in his voice.  
  
"I'll... tell you later, Shinji-kun..." Without further ado, Asuka headed for the bathroom. She quickly turned on the water and stepped into the comforting warmth of the shower. Despite the day's heat, she had felt cold since coming out of NERV headquarters. Asuka glanced down at the floor, and was shocked to see blue liquid running down her legs out of her wet red hair. She sighed.   
  
They must not have washed all that blue LCL off of me... Someone's got some answering to do... Again... Just when you think you have things figured out, someone comes along to kindly pull the rug out from under you...  
  
After running up the water bill magnificently, Asuka got out of the shower and dried herself off. She was pleased to see no more blue residue on the towel. It was necessary to insure that there were no stains on Misato's linens and nothing on the floor of the shower. Asuka had no idea why someone, almost certainly 'Doctor Akagi', had put something in the LCL with her. NERV security, for all its flaws, was adequate enough that not just anyone could get at the test-plug area.  
  
I'm alive, though. I suppose it could be worse. Speaking of 'worse'... I wonder how Ayanami is handling being an Angel, now that everyone knows.  
  
Asuka dressed and walked out of the bathroom, noticing that the others had saved her some food. How considerate of Shinji...  
  
"Thanks, Shinji-kun..." The words died on her lips as Asuka realized she was alone in the kitchen. "I said, 'Thanks, Shinji-kun'!" she repeated loudly. Apparently, the others were in the living room, probably engaged in some sort of mindless entertainment. Misato, however, was waiting for her.  
  
"Asuka! Shinji-kun and I are going to help get Touji home from the Infirmary. You want to come?" Misato asked. "There's not enough room for everyone to come in my car. Kaworu and Rei volunteered to hold down the fort until we get back."  
  
"I'll bet they did..." Asuka muttered darkly. She was seriously weighing being with only the two Angels for comany against having to put up with the etchi, Touji. Eventually, Touji won out. Asuka just didn't trust Kaworu and Rei. Especially after this morning's 'incident'. By the time she had finished deliberating on the matter, Misato and Shinji were already at the door leaving. Asuka hurried to catch up to them.  
  
"I'll go with you..."  
  
As Asuka closed the door behind her, Kaworu and Rei shared a conspiratorial glance.  
  
"Do you suppose she knows?"  
  
The two then returned to what they were both discovering to be one of the Lilim's main activities: killing time.  
  
Asuka was pleased that there were no difficulties regarding seating arrangements. Shinji sat in the front and Asuka in the back. She did not manage to ask him the questions on her mind, most of which involved Ayanami. Asuka was trying to come up with a good way to breach the topic, but failed to do so. She was so deep in thought that it came as a surprise when they suddenly arrived at NERV. Misato left them to go 'Retrieve something from Ritsuko', as she had put it. Shinji and Asuka walked on silently towards Touji's room. He was standing outside of the room, his bag in hand, when they arrived.  
  
"Where's Kaworu?" were his first words. This was a bit of a surprise for Shinji, who had been under the impression that Touji was not overly fond of his healer.  
  
"There wasn't enough room in Misato's car" Shinji responded.  
  
"Yeah. There would have been, but he never goes anywhere without Rei, now," Asuka finished for him. Shinji had not considered this before. Oddly enough, it was true. He hadn't seen Kaworu without Rei for... several days. Actually, since the original incident that started this whole mess. Even to Shinji, it seemed natural for those two to be together. Birds of a feather, or some such English phrase.  
  
Touji was disappointed at this. He started to walk in the direction of his sister's room, which was just down the hall. He opened the door, but did not enter. A small girl lay unmoving on a large, cold-looking hospital bed. She had been in a coma for many months. According to the doctors, there was nothing mentally or physically wrong with her, anymore. Her injuries had since healed, but she wouldn't get up.  
  
"What I really wanted... Was for him to... Well... help... her..." Touji choked out. "I... didn't need to be healed... Why couldn't it have been her instead of me?" Shinji tried to put his arm on his friend's shoulder, but he was waved off.   
  
"I'm all-right..." Touji claimed. After leaning against the wall for a few seconds longer, he walked away, in the general direction of the exit. The three of them reached the elevator on this floor and waited for it to come to them. When the doors opened, there was Misato, carrying a large brown-paper envelope.  
  
No-one thought to ask her in regard to the contents of the envelope. Asuka and Shinji were still unsure what to do about Touji. Neither of them wanted to disturb him, so they simply said nothing. Silence hung over the four like a pall until after they had gotten into Misato's car and started towards the railway station. The only agreement that could be made involved Touji sitting in the front seat, and that was how they ended up. Shinji and Asuka were talking in hushed tones in the back seat, hoping that the engine noise, usually acceleration, and the radio would cover up what they were saying. It was Asuka who spoke first.  
  
"Shinji-kun... Can you tell me about... Ayanami?..." Hearing this, Shinji sighed and hung his head.  
  
"I don't know, Asuka. She's... the same as Kaworu-kun. An... Angel..."  
  
"I..." Asuka could not think of what to say. She already knew that Wonder-Girl was an Angel, but it wouldn't do to cut down Shinji further. "I... I'm sorry, Shinji-kun... I'm sorry that... you always get hurt..." Asuka even managed to be sincere about it. She was proud of herself.  
  
Shinji was more than a little surprised to find Asuka trying to comfort him, or at least empathize. It was more than she usually would do. The   
  
"Hey! Sounds pretty emotional back there," Touji cut in. "You two are at it again?"  
  
"Shut up, Suzuhara," Asuka snarled.  
  
"Way to go, Shinji! She's... defending you!" Touji laughed. Shinji made no response other than turning a terrific shade of red. Seeing Asuka blushing as well only made him laugh harder. The playful mood died when they reached the station, however. Touji was going to Osaka-2, the same place most of their other classmates had taken up temporary residence.  
  
"Shinji-kun... You will... talk to Kaworu, won't you? If I'm not here... no-one will ever go visit my sister..."  
  
"Of course, Touji," Shinji assured him.  
  
"Thanks, Ikari. I knew I could count on you..." Without another word, Touji stepped onto the train. Misato, Shinji, and Asuka waited for it to leave before driving away.  
  
"The old men never give up, do they? Their dream is... for all to be one. They want to take away the very thing for which the Lilim keeps on living... Individuality. How many more will they sacrifice for this cause?" Kaworu and Rei were having a philosophical discussion while they were alone in the apartment. "They... created us... so that they might further their own ends, no matter the cost to us or humanity."  
  
"Commander Ikari is the same as they are," Rei said. "He wants... to be reunited with his lost loved ones. Yui. I do not know who she was, except that she is the mother of Shinji-kun. I was told... Her soul resides within the armored shell of Unit 01."  
  
"Originally designed to protect humanity from us, the Angels, the Eva series now exists... For what?" Kaworu asked. "It is one more means an end: the Impact. Why do we pilot Eva? I cannot even answer that question for myself. I want... to be... human..." Kaworu paused. "I suppose. Eva is... a link... between what I am and what the others are. I would like... if I did not need to rely on the power of the Angels. Eva allows me to... be as humans are... As Ikari Shinji is... But even in this, I know that we will never be alike. We will never be the same. We will never be together. I am alone. I pilot Eva because... I am... a failure..."  
  
"Are you?" Rei asked.  
  
"I suppose not... I am the Angel of Free Will, and I have made my choice. The only means that I, Tabris, have to be no longer alone is that which must not be done. The Impact. I accept the punishment of being alone so that Shinji-kun... and all of the Lilims... may have their individuality. You are a child of Lilith yourself, Rei-chan. What is it like?"  
  
"I... don't know, Kaworu-kun. I cannot describe what it is to be alive. But... you are not a failure. You have free will; you make your own decisions, just as we do every day. I have seen you long enough to know this is true. You will always make the decision to do what you feel is good for others. That is the only difference. Humans make choices which may be contradictory to the good of humanity as a whole, envisioning their own goals and those of no-one else. If you want to know the best example of what it is to be a human... Ikari Gendou typifies all of the traits which we do not have."  
  
"Thank you, Rei. It is good to hear words of encouragement, words meant to please. I do feel pleased that you take an interest in the well-being of Adam's child. Thank you, Rei-chan."  
  
"No... Thank you, Kaworu-kun. You have given back to me that which was taken away. Because of you, I am not a doll. I, too, have free will. Thank you."  
  
Kaworu smiled to her, and for the first time, Rei smiled back. The two of them shared being together, without any spoken words, for the remainder of the short time before Misato returned. When Misato did return, she was somewhat surprised to see the two of them sitting on the couch, staring at nothing, with the TV turned off. Shinji was still trying not to 'expect' them to do anything, because they usually did the exact opposite of what he might have expected. Actually, Shinji reflected, was there anything that WOULDN'T surprise him from these two? If they were completely ignoring each other and concentrating intently on some mindless TV program, it would have been just as shocking. There was no such thing as 'normal' when dealing with Rei and Kaworu. Asuka had long since given up on the possibility of normalcy. Even so, her life seemed to get more strange as time went on instead of becoming more regular. Asuka sighed again and went to her room.  
  
"Hello, Misato-san," Kaworu called out.  
  
Misato gave no response as she tossed the envelope on the kitchen counter and opened the refrigerator. Reasoning that one can is as good as another, she grabbed the closest Yebisu and downed most of it. "Who has an idea for dinner tonight?" she asked loudly. No response from Asuka's room. Nothing but silence from the couch. Nothing at all from Shinji in the bathroom. Misato gave a long sigh and put her head down on the kitchen table. It was nice when some people at least pretended to be interested in you. She then spotted movement out of the corner of her eye. It was Kaworu, followed closely by Rei. Oh well. If the people don't care, at least the Angels do.  
  
"Hello... Kaworu-kun... Rei..." Misato's voice was muffled, probably due to the fact that she had not bothered to raise her head.  
  
"Do you want to eat out tonight, Misato-san? SEELE gave me some money before I came here in case it was needed, but I haven't spent it. I would be more than willing to pay for a meal," Kaworu offered.  
  
"How much... did they give you..." Misato inquired, still not bothering to pick herself up.  
  
"I'm not sure." Kaworu dug out a large wad of yen from his pocket. "Quite a lot, by the look of it. I didn't think I'd need it for anything." Misato did look up when she saw the temptingly large amount of cash set on the table next to her. A pile of several 10,000-yen notes were enough to persuade her to get up. More than sufficient to eat at any of her favorite restaurants.  
  
"Thanks, Kaworu-kun. Where do you want to go?"  
  
"I don't know of any good restaurants." It would be more accurate to say I don't know any restaurants at all. "Why don't you decide?"  
  
"Rei?"  
  
"Go somewhere that you want to go, Misato-san," Rei responded encouragingly.  
  
"Asuka! Shinji! We're going out for dinner tonight!" Misato called. Asuka opened her door to see if this was true.  
  
"Where at?" Asuka asked.  
  
"We don't know yet. Got any suggestions? Kaworu-kun's buying," Misato responded.  
  
"I would recommend the German restaurant, except for the small fact that it was destroyed in the Unit 00 'incident'," Asuka replied helpfully, glancing at Rei. Rei, however, either missed the gesture or ignored it completely.  
  
To no-one's surprise, Shinji had no suggestions, either. Misato, not feeling particulary imaginative at the moment, decided to go for a sushi bar, albeit one of the better ones still standing. Misato chuckled at herself, ushering her 'family' out to the car for dinner. She made Kaworu put on one of Shinji's clean shirts, since the one he had been wearing appeared to have been used for several days.  
  
Feels almost like I'm a mother... And what a family I have. Four teens, including two Angels. Kaji would laugh if he saw me now. Kaji...  
  
Since the word 'privacy' was apparently foreign to Kaworu, Asuka had observed while he changed his shirt. You could almost forget what he is, just looking at him. It seems odd that he cares more about us than the rest of humanity does. Why does he feel that way? We haven't done anything good for him...  
  
Even though Asuka had not regained her appetite, she went along and ate with the others. "I don't know why I'm not hungry... Maybe I need some good German food for a change..." she speculated. Shinji groaned inwardly. Asuka had a habit of extolling the many virtues of German food when given the opportunity. Fortunately, she left her comment at that and did not launch into a detailed explanation of why her home country's food was the best in the world.  
  
While eating, or pretending to, Asuka noticed something strange. Kaworu and Rei both kept stealing glances at her. She couldn't quite place the look on Kaworu's face, but something was up.  
  
After they were finished eating, Misato dropped Kaworu and Rei off at their respective apartments. She must not know that they shared Kaworu's floor last night... Interesting. You would think that someone would keep better tabs on the pilots, especially those two.  
  
When they returned home, it was already dark. Asuka decided that she'd had enough of the day and went to her room. After a few hours of sitting about, she came to the conclusion that she was not even remotely tired. Nothing could occupy her attention for more than a few seconds before her mind moved on to a different, but equally random, thought. Asuka wandered into the kitchen to see if Misato was still about. She was not. The large brown envelope, however, was lying on the counter. Taking a closer look, Asuka noticed it bore her name.   
  
Well, since it's for me, Misato won't mind if I take a look.  
  
The envelope was not sealed. Opening it, she pulled out a large X-Ray transparency print. The print had her name and today's date on it in the corner, but it was too dark to see clearly at the moment. She held the transparency to the light.  
  
Oh my God...  
  
That was Asuka's last thought before she fainted dead away.  
  
{More to come!} 


	5. Part 4: Human, or Don't Be

Obviously, Evangelion and all related characters are copyrights of Gainax, etc. etc. etc. This is not written for profit. Feel free to distrubute, but please do not remove this disclaimer. Thanks, Kerristallax (kerristallax@yahoo.com)  
  
  
The Kaworu Chronicles  
Part 4: Human, or Don't Be  
Massive Re-Write Edition  
  
Asuka was up early the next morning, the rising sun forcing her to awaken far earlier than would have been her preference.   
  
*---------------------------*  
  
I sat up apruptly, disoriented and confused. The room was still a dusky gray; the sun was not high enough to provide any useful illumination. It was, however, at just the right angle to shine into my window. Through the window, the light reflected powerfully off something lying on the bed. It appeared as a shiny, black, rectangular wet spot. No... It's not wet... It's... a transparency print...  
  
Seeing the print sitting on my bed brought recollection, at least partially. Last night... I couldn't sleep... So I wandered aimlessly into the kitchen; perhaps Misato was still awake drinking or something. She wasn't. Bored but not tired, I had discovered the envelope she was carrying on the NERV elevator yesterday. I had thought nothing of it, then. Now... What is it? I must have fainted... That means... Someone carried me in here and put me to bed. Probably... Shinji... That pervert... I don't even want to know... Maybe he tried to kiss me in my sleep... again...  
  
I clenched my fist in anger at the possibility that I had been taken advantage of. I looked down to my hands, imagining them colliding forcefully with Shinji's face. Shinji's... or... whoever... Well, perhaps not if Misato had carried me in to my room. This tangent of thought was interrupted by a sudden realization. My arm was glowing a pale white.  
  
I very nearly screamed. Somehow, I managed to bring clamp my other hand over my mouth. It would not do to humiliate myself twice in so short a time. The others... would scorn me for my weakness, if I screamed. I can't let that happen.   
  
I remained sitting with my left hand over my mouth, staring at my right arm in horror, until the sun had risen high enough that it no longer shown through the window so brightly. My right arm was normal-looking again... If it was glowing, that had only lasted a second. After deciding that I was indeed safe, and sane, I picked up the transparency, which had lain undisturbed throughout the whole episode. Raising it to the light, I observed the outline of... myself. I could see my bones clearly, and a silhouette of my body. But the most striking feature of the print was a pure, white sphere in the center of my being. That's certainly not normal... Just what is it? There was no fine print hidden somewhere to give a towards the meaning of this...  
  
Left to my own devices, I began theorizing on what I knew of that was so perfectly round and similarly sized. Few objects fit such a description... Except for a... baseball... I can think of nothing... My thoughts returned to my right arm. A likely revelation struck me forcefully at this. An Angel Core... That which allows the Angels to manipulate the AT Field such as they do. Angels like... Nagisa Kaworu and Ayanami Rei...  
  
No... Not that... Somehow, the Commander did... this... to me... I didn't even know I valued being a human... Why? Why me?!  
  
I knew the answer, however... I was the easiest target. At one point... I would have thought that the Commander would value his own son's humanity more than to take it away. Perhaps he still does... I do know that relations are tense between the Ikaris... So... He chose me... for the experiment... yesterday... in the Entry Plug. That is the only explanation.  
  
But... Is there something I don't know? Am I an Angel? It disgusts my... very... core... How ironic... It disgusts... me... that I am asking such a question. I tried to remember all of Rei and Kaworu's strange behaviors. Try as I might, I could not make myself feel hungry... or tired... or in pain... I held my breathe, to see if anything would happen. Five minutes later, and I was not even uncomfortable... Rarely a good sign. Sighing, I gave up and returned to automatic, normal breathing. So far, I've managed to do everything that I think they can do, and we humans can't... 'We humans'? Can I even refer to humanity as a 'we' any longer? Damn...  
  
I sat upright in bed, completely motionless, thinking over my current status. It must have been around an hour before I heard a voice calling to me from outside the room.  
  
"Asuka! Let's go! You're going to be late!" Misato yelled loudly.  
  
"Late for what?!" I demanded nastily. I certainly wasn't going back to NERV today for more... experimentation...  
  
"School!"  
  
Huh?  
  
"The government assigned us a temporary location to use. It's a bit out of the way, but you will be able to see Hikari and your friends, at least..." Misato tried to convince me.  
  
Nothing like last-minute decisions... Grumbling, I pulled on my much-hated uniform. Perhaps Rei was content to dress like this every day, but wearing the same clothing as everyone else was loathesome to me. I buttoned up the teal jumper and walked over to my dresser. As always, the red neural amplifiers were resting on top of it, waiting for me to put them on, the same as every day. I had made a point of putting them on even when there were no tests scheduled. They were a constant reminder to me, as if I could forget, of why I was here. I'm an Eva pilot... Or at least I was... Now... I don't know what I am...  
  
I left the neural amplifiers where they lay and headed for the door. Exiting, I observed Shinji standing over the toaster, patiently waiting for the bread to pop out.  
  
"Good morning, Asuka..." he said nervously. "I made some toast for you... I don't know if you want it, but..."  
  
Did everyone know about... the experiment... but me?  
  
"Thanks, Shinji-kun..." I responded after a long pause. Shinji looked relieved when I sat down to eat it. Ever the polite host, he had even poured a glass of orange juice. I should have felt pleased... that someone still cared about me... But... it made me... saddened. Despairing... Most of all... empty. Empty and alone.  
  
I picked up the piece of toast he had prepared for me and took a bite, even though I had no inclination to do so. It had an ashen taste about it... I glanced at the toast. It was not burned... Then why does it taste like I am eating charcoal? I set the toast down despondently. Why...  
  
I noticed Shinji's saddened appearance.  
  
"I......" I tried to speak. I... can't say... anything...  
  
I tried to drink some of the orange juice he had poured. I moved too quickly... the glass fell off the table and shattered. Shinji rushed to get a towel and clean up the mess. I stared orange-yellow fluid spreading across the floor. Yellow... like LCL... My eyes were filled with water. A single tear ran down my face. I covered my face with my hands, temporarily unable to go on. More than that, I could not let anyone see me crying...  
  
At that moment, there was a knock at the front door. Shinji had finished wiping up the orange juice and hurried to answer it. He opened the door, admitting Kaworu and Rei. They must have seen me sitting pathetically at the table, an uneaten piece of toast before me, for when I looked up, they were standing next to me. Kaworu wore his ever-present smile, trying to calm my fears... Or something... I gave the two of them a deploring look.  
  
"I... can't... " I stammered. I don't know if either of them understood, but I felt a hand on my shoulder. Kaworu's. He was trying to comfort me... Why? He's no better than I am, and possibly worse...  
  
"You can't give up, Asuka," Rei said to me. That did it. I couldn't stand Wonder-Girl feeling sorry for me. I stood up, furious. I heard the chair fall to the ground, but I was only half-aware of it. I took a swing at Rei. I was further enraged when Kaworu stopped my hand. He gave me a pleading look, but said nothing. I returned the favor by shooting him a glance that would have frozen his blood. If, I suppose, he'd had a normal heart instead of some Angel core.  
  
Misato drove us all to school today, seeing as it was impossible for us to walk the long distance towards this new, remote location. I sat in the front seat, feeling deflated after the episode at breakfast. The feeling of emptiness and isolation had returned... When we arrived at school, there was to be no improvement. The building was old, and had apparently been in a state of disuse for some time. Loneliness pervaded the place. Less than half of the students had been able to come. Even Aida and Suzuhara were absent... Somehow, the same old man who had always taught us managed to be there. You'd think that an old man, such as he, would have had the good graces to get himself killed in one of the Angel attacks, or failing those, in the Unit 00 self-destruction. I suppose that's what you get for paying attention to the safety recommendations...  
  
Sensei introduced Nagisa Kaworu to the class before we began the usual routine of the day. When writing his name on the improvised markerboard as per standard practice, he received strange looks from almost everyone. There were so many questions. Why come here after the Angel attacks have gone on for so long? Why is he so similar-looking to Ayanami Rei? Though he must have heard the students talking amongst themselves about him, Kaworu was still friendly to those who had the courage to talk to him. The morning passed, as typical, with practically no-one actually listening to the teacher.   
  
Hikari sat next to me, concerned about my well-being. She asked me why I had not worn the amplifiers. I didn't know. I tried to think of a reason, but I could not. So, I simply said nothing. This caused Hikari to be even more worried about me. "I'm fine..." I assured her. I hope the look on my face didn't give away the lie. Speaking those words made me think of just how pathetic I had become. I never lie... And especially not to Hikari. Even Kaworu never lies... I fell into a bottomless pool of self-pity, only finding the waters to be tainted by an equally strong self-loathing.  
  
By noon, most of the students had found some question to ask Kaworu, or had overcome their fears that he, having the same red eyes and pale skin as Rei, would be cold, uncaring, and generally silent. They had discovered that quite the opposite was true. So, there was a comparatively large crowd around his desk. Everyone was talking at once, making quite the impressive amount of racket. I had been the center of such attention, once... Now... I'm... not even... a spectator...  
  
Rei sat quietly, her assigned seat being next to Kaworu's, eating the lunch she must have packed before coming to our apartment this morning. She did not appear to be angered at me for attempting to strike her... Still, who knew what Ayanami Rei thought, anyway? Actually, Nagisa Kaworu does... If there were ever two... Angels... better suited for each other, I've not seen them. Realizing the closeness those two seem to share made me all the more aware of my own isolation. I'm alone...  
  
"Kaworu," I said to him. Apparently, he was too far away, or the noise was too intense, for him to hear me. I waited a moment before trying again. "Kaworu." I had put marginally more energy into my voice this time, but it still failed to reach him.  
  
"Tabris," I whispered. He turned his head to me, obviously startled. I stopped, knowing that I could not speak my mind. I wanted...... I wanted someone to tell me that everything was going to be all-right. Kaworu has a habit of making people believe that. He can... restore others' confidence in themselves, somehow. I don't exactly understand what it is about him. But... He has a way with words...   
  
"Asuka..." I heard Shinji say. "I brought you some lunch. I know... you had a difficult time... this morning... but... I brought your lunch..." I can feel a sense of meaning well from him, but... It only deepens my sadness. I turned to face him... I hope there was a look of thankfulness, gratitude, or... anything... in my eyes, but I think they were filled with unshed tears again. No, Shinji-kun; it's not your fault. Don't leave me... Why can't I tell him that?  
  
Shinji sat down next to me, calmly eating his own lunch. Odd... Something so simple as eating, or even wanting to eat, is suddenly foreign to me. I managed to consume most of my sandwich, however. For whose benefit I had done that, I am not quite sure. Probably for Shinji-kun...  
  
Before I knew it, we were all in our rightful seats again, preparing for a long and doubtlessly soporific lecture. Sensei began by telling us how much better off we were, even with the endless Angel attacks, than he had been in the Second Impact. After he had imposed a profound lack of self-worth on us, the man launched into his favorite tangent: the Second Impact itself. He seemed to be strangely excited to telling us this again. I found myself staring at the desk I was seated in, it being far more interesting than the lecture ahead of me.  
  
I was surprised the first time when I realized that I could see through my arm to the wood beneath it. At times, I became more transparent, then more solid again. The less I wanted to be here, the easier it was to look through myself. I had concentrated on this for some time before wondering if anyone else had taken notice. Glancing around, it was obvious that Kaworu, Rei, Shinji, and around half the small class had. The students were staring at me with a mixture of shock, disbelief, and fear. Rei and Kaworu had a worried look. Odd, to see worry on the face of Ayanami Rei. The teacher was still in a world of his own. A bright glow enveloped me, somehow more comforting than any of the kind gestures I had received earlier. I vanished, leaving a very surprised class, two very worried Angels, and Ikari Shinji-kun behind. Shinji-kun...  
  
If I had stayed any longer, I would have seen Shinji-kun lying his head on his desk, sobbing uncontrollably. "Asuka... Don't go..." he had said.  
  
I found myself staring at the armored, crimson figure of Unit 02. I was standing in its gantry, observing the tech. crews making repairs to it. The wounds it had suffered from when Kaworu-kun had taken it to Terminal Dogma were mostly healed and fixed... At this time, one of the technicians had noticed me. A glowing, red-haired girl, who had appeared out of nowhere. He started shouting to his comrades, one of which called security. Moments later, the technicians had ran away as fast as they could, and several black-suited intelligence agents were running into the gantry. I think they had told me to freeze. I didn't move, but I didn't respond either. I heard the gunfire echoing through the massive enclosure as they fired repeatedly on me. Their shots ricocheted harmlessly off... an AT Field. Commander Ikari... Why have you done this to me...  
  
'No... I am Soryu Asuka Langley, the Second Child and the pilot of Eva Unit 02. I'm not... some Angel... You're shooting the wrong guy...' I wanted to tell them. But I knew they would not listen. A white halo of light surrounded me again, before I disappeared.  
  
When I opened my eyes, I was a dimly lit room. It was very large, dominated by a comparatively massive desk in the center. A massive desk with a dark figure sitting behind it. I don't know which of us was the more surprised to see the other. For the first time, I saw shock on Ikari Gendou's face. Actually, that was the first emotion I had ever seen on the man's face. Even Rei was not so cold...  
  
"Why..." I asked him softly. Ikari gave no immediate response. "Why did you do this..." Much to my frustration, he still gave no answer. "Why won't you tell me?!"  
  
"Our goals," the Commander replied at length. Was he feeling threatened? "All will be one. All of Lilith's children must eventually return to her..." I don't understand. "You are powerful enough, Soryu. You can do it... You can go to Lilith; you can reunite humanity." For some reason, I doubt this is entirely the case. But... It's so... attractive. "You can be with your mother again, Soryu. You don't have to be alone forever..." Momma. I can see you again? I don't want to be alone... But... I don't believe you... Ikari...  
  
"You're lying..." I hissed. "It's... never that easy..." The dimness of the room was banished by a rapidly growing field of white light around me.   
  
"No..." Ikari whispered. "A... A red pattern... That wasn't... one of our possible scenarios..." He was silenced as the light gathered around him, seeming to take physical form. Seconds later, an explosion of wet, red stains marred the carpet and desk. Ikari Gendou was gone.  
  
You... bastard...  
  
Now... I'm torn between wanting to believe what Ikari told me and an equally strong desire not to comply simply because it was his command. He who took away... me... I must not... obey...  
  
'Asuka...'  
  
Huh? Voices in my head?  
  
'Come to your mother, Asuka...'  
  
Momma? Where are you?  
  
'Deep within the earth...' the voice called to me. Terminal Dogma.  
  
With a thought, I was standing before immense Heaven's Door. A portal large enough for an Eva to walk through comfortably. Only one man had the authorization to pass through its wards, and I had just killed that man. But somehow, I will enter. The door is guarded by... a key-card reader... and... Nagisa Kaworu and Ayanami Rei. The two stood together, grasping each other's hands, as if for support. They were both surrounded by a brilliant white nimbus. I gradually became aware of a... network... between them. A web of blue hexagons, each so small that it was impossible to see them individually unaided. I could not sense where Kaworu ended and Rei began... The patterns were interlaced completely, seamlessly. I was still covered with my own quickly brightening halo, wondering how to reach Momma.  
  
"Asuka..." Rei started to say. "You'll destroy us all..."  
  
That's a lie. The light coalesced around me, becoming solid once again. A bar of solid light connected me to the AT Field the two had spread. The usual orange and red flares had appeared, lurid and fiery against the whiteness. I could see the two of them battling to uphold the field, but they seemed to be losing. The flares died shortly thereafter, accompanied by a sound like glass shattering. Fragile like glass... The breakdown of the AT Field had flung Rei and Kaworu against the wall. Meanwhile, the light had bored a hole in Heaven's Door, large enough for me to enter easily. Rei had stopped moving, but Kaworu yet struggled to rise.  
  
"Asuka... Please... You can't... do this..." he implored me. Why? You're not a human, so you'll be destroyed when we are united? I did not say anything to him, however. He does not want to die?  
  
"No... Asuka... No... It's not that..."  
  
How does he know what I'm thinking? Another person knowing my thoughts was most unsettling. It was also a fine excuse for proceeding onward. I turned and walked through the hole in the portal, noticing that the metal itself had been vaporized. How exactly did I do that? Oh well... Such details did not hold my interest, at the moment. The chamber within was by far the largest artificial enclosure I had ever seen. A massive white figure, wearing a purple mask of seven eyes, was crucified on a white cross above a sea of LCL. The figure seemed to call to me; it begged me to come. I did not resist. Momma...  
  
Not fully knowing how I did so, I floated upwards until I was at eye-level with the being on the cross. "I'm home... Momma... I've missed you so... I've been through so much... Life has been so... difficult... without you..." The figure gave no response, audible or mental. Nervous, I looked behind me, down to the hole in Heaven's Door. Nagisa Kaworu and Ayanami Rei had weakly crawled through, both obviously in pain. Rei's fine, blue hair was matted with blood, but she still carried on. Each of them bore a look of absolute horror... towards me... Why does everyone... hate me...  
  
I returned to the face before me. "They made me an Angel... Momma... But... I'm still... myself... Aren't you... proud of me?"  
  
'Welcome... Home...' The voice was quiet, even in my head. Something... isn't... right...  
  
My face contorted in pain as an unseen hand clawed into my abdomen, reaching... searching... for something... Icy fingers closed around a part of my being; it felt as if my soul itself was being pulled apart. Slowly, a blue orb was wrenched from my stomach. An S2-Type organ? Blue? The said orb drifted lazily towards Lilith's chest. As it came into contact, it was absorbed directly into her. No longer held aloft by my core, I began to fall towards the LCL below. I spun slowly as I fell, watching in profound terror the scene behind me. Kaworu-kun... was being... assaulted by an ephemeral Shinji... Touched by the... ghost... he exploded, a cross-flare marking his passing. Rei was similarly met by a shadow-Gendou. She melted into a pool of LCL as the demon made touched her. I continued to fall, spinning further until I could see beneath me. A reflection of my mother stood up to catch me... When I fell into her arms... There was the splash of LCL, and then...   
  
My body ceased to exist. I was united with all life on Earth; all was one. And... everything for which Soryu Asuka Langley was looked up to and admired for was gone. There was nothing to separate... or distinguish... me from everyone else. And... I'm still... alone... For all eternity...  
  
*---------------------------*  
  
"It's all right, Asuka... It was only a dream..." Asuka felt a light touch on her shoulder, jarring her awake. Reality held some surprises for her. For one, she was lying on the floor in the semi-darkened kitchen. Secondly, one Ikari Shinji was trying to comfort her.  
  
"Shinji-kun..." Asuka murmured dazedly.  
  
"I... heard you scream, and so I..." Shinji tried to explain. Asuka slowly lay back down on the floor. She laid face down, her head on her arms crossed in front of her.  
  
"Do you... know... what... I did..." Asuka asked softly. Shinji shook his head. Obviously, he would have no idea. That was of little consequence to Asuka, however.  
  
"I killed Commander Ikari. I tried to kill Kaworu. I tried to kill Rei," Asuka placed no emphasis on any of the names. Her voice had an empty, hollow sound to it. "I probably tried to kill you... Or I might as well. Worst of all... I... caused... the Third Impact..." Asuka choked more on the last than anything else. "Doing so... I killed everyone... everyone on Earth..."  
  
Shinji was deeply troubled by this. "It wasn't real, Asuka... It was a dream."  
  
"That doesn't matter... The decisions were mine," she replied quietly.  
  
"No, Asuka... You can't cause the Impact... It's not possible..." Shinji responded assuringly. For a long time, Asuka lay unmoving. She began to cry to herself, evidenced only by the change in her breathing. No massive sobs raked through her body... Collecting herself, Asuka raised her head to look for something on the floor. In the near-darkness, it was a black, shiny piece of plastic. She pointed weakly towards the fallen transparency. Shinji, not knowing what to expect, walked over and picked it up. He held the X-Ray up to the night-light in the kitchen.  
  
No...  
  
Seconds later, Shinji dropped it to the ground again.  
  
No...  
  
"Somehow... the Commander... made another Angel -- me... Don't you hate Angels, Shinji-kun? All they cause is pain..."  
  
"Asuka..." Shinji started, "It's all-right... I don't hate Kaworu-kun, and I don't hate Rei. But... I don't believe it's possible to make someone into an Angel... You'll always be Soryu Asuka Langley..."  
  
"I've got an Angel's core, Shinji-kun... It's blue, for some reason... Doctor Akagi..." Asuka paused to add an expression of scorn. "She put the core in me today during the tests... Except that there were no tests. That was the only reason they called me down there. They ruined my weekend... They destroyed my life... I'll never be normal now."  
  
"Ritsuko would not do that on her own," Shinji stated with some measure of confidence. "It was... the Commander. Father... I can't believe you did this..." He was silent, thinking on what would possess someone to commit such an atrocity. After some thought, Shinji asked, "Are you sure it... works, Asuka?"  
  
"I used the AT Field well enough..." she responded hesitantly.  
  
"That was a dream, Asuka! Even if my father did put an Angel core in you somehow, you're no Angel!" Shinji said defiantly. He noticed that a dim glow had formed around Asuka. Whereas Rei's nimbus had been a pure-looking white-blue, this was... tarnished. Asuka had a sullen, yellowish, flickering light.  
  
"What... is this..." Asuka wondered aloud. "I'm... flawed?" She paused, recalling the Commander's last words in her dream. "A red pattern..."  
  
"Huh?" Shinji was confused.  
  
"Just something the Commander said to me... before I killed him..."  
  
Strangely, talk of his father being killed, even in a dream, did not bother Shinji at all. Should it? "If that's true... The red pattern is the same as an Eva's. You're not an Angel, Asuka..." he trailed off. Accepting as fact what was revealed to Asuka in a morbid dream was not particularly comforting.  
  
"Wait, Shinji-kun..." Asuka suddenly rose, leaving his brain in a slightly addled state. Oddly enough, the glow around her gained in strength and constancy. It was not quite so erratic as it had been. She walked quickly to the bathroom, flipped on the light, but did not close the door. Shinji had turned away respectively, even so. Asuka stared at herself in the mirror for a moment. Her own blue eyes stared back at her. Not red Angel eyes... And her hair was still a vibrant, ruddy hue.   
  
"You are not an Angel, regardless of what Commander Ikari has done to you."  
  
Asuka whirled around suddenly, caught by surprise. Nagisa Kaworu stood just beyond the doorway. Due to the brightness of the bathroom and the darkness of the kitchen, she could see no-one else. Sighing, Asuka flipped the bathroom light off again. The mirror reflected the yellowish tint surrounding her, casting deformed shadows about the area. Shortly after Asuka's eyes had adjusted to the night, the still-shy figure of Ayanami Rei emerged from behind Kaworu. When Asuka entered the kitchen again, she noticed Shinji standing nearby, visibly disturbed by his companions' extraordinary arrival. What she did next shocked them all. Asuka headed out of the bathroom, taking slow, deliberate steps. Walking past Kaworu, she rapidly spun to face Rei... Asuka extended her hand to Rei, and waited. Rei bore a look of intense uncertainty before eventually giving Asuka her hand. The two shared a handshake, the first gesture of civility to pass between them.  
  
"I suppose... I can't hate you any longer..." Asuka told her, though loud enough to be heard by everyone. Crimson eyes seemed to bore into her own, seeing through the pale veneer and directly into her soul... After a moment, she released Rei. Asuka turned to Kaworu and repeated the gesture, saying nothing to him.  
  
"Please understand, Asuka... Being an Angel is not something of which I am proud. You are human and shall remain so, if so you choose." Kaworu stopped, considering what to say next. "Even I cannot live solely for myself. That is the downfall of the Angels." Taking a blushing Rei's hand in his, Kaworu said, "I live for you all. And I hope... that we may never forget that we exist as individuals. If you cease to be your own person, you no longer live."  
  
Asuka nodded slowly in agreement, her staring eyes not betraying the turmoil she felt within. For some reason, she looked back to Kaworu. Asuka received a smile of encouragement from him. Mustering her courage, she faced Ikari Shinji, who was standing a short distance away from the others. Asuka proceeded towards him hesitantly, every molecule of her latter self demanding that she desist from this course of action.  
  
I am my own person.  
  
Kaworu turned his head slightly to speak to Rei, whose hand he had not released. "It is odd..." he whispered, "that he, Shinji-kun, stands the farthest apart. He is yet alone..." Kaworu returned his gaze to the scene before him. Rei remained silent.  
  
After a final moment of indecisiveness, Asuka reached out the Shinji, closed her eyes, and waited. She was surprised when Shinji took hold of her hand firmly almost immediately. Asuka found a pair of dark eyes fixed on her... Expecting nothing of her... Only... concerned...  
  
"I..." Asuka began, only to discover that a part of her was still holding back. She was angered at this prospect. The light around her body grew bright, losing the sullen taint it had earlier possessed. It was not white, but it was close. "I'm... sorry... Shinji-kun..."  
  
"It is all-right, Asuka," Shinji responded.  
  
"No... It isn't..." she insisted. "The Third Impact... United as one, I was nothing; you were nothing. It is not being of one mind with a single goal; there is no goal. There is no expression... no hate, no love, no sentience. Communication is impossible, and useless even if it were not so. There is nothing to say..." Asuka had run out of words. "I'm... sorry, Shinji-kun."  
  
Fortunately, Kaworu picked up for her. "Unfettered by the bonds of mortal, or even immortal, consciousness, there is no reason to exist. It is the same as oblivion. If nothing is between us, there is no difference between every human. The entirety of your existence cannot be the same for everyone. The views which we have of each other, and of ourselves... They are what make us who we are. If it is all the same... We are not ourselves. There is no Ayanami Rei, no Soryu Asuka Langley, no Ikari Shinji... and no Nagisa Kaworu. For there is nothing to distinguish among them."  
  
Asuka found herself still gripping the hand of Ikari Shinji through Kaworu's monologue.  
  
"Long live the AT Field," Kaworu intoned.  
  
They had not noticed the room gradually increasing in brightness. Not the sun; night was still well upon them. The brightness was from Asuka, Rei, and Kaworu. Abruptly, a phone rang, causing Misato to fall down in surprise from where she had been standing near the entrance of her own room. Hearing the phone, and the almost simultaneous crash, the light surrounding Asuka blinked out. Misato picked herself up and walked calmly to the phone.  
  
"Katsuragi-sansa!" Maya's voice screamed over the receiver. "A massive blue pattern, interlaced with a red pattern nearly as big, has been detected IN your apartment! What's going on?!"  
  
Misato did not answer at first, considering how best to put this. "There is no problem... Oh... tell Ritsuko... her procedure was a success." Misato motioned to Kaworu and Rei; the light in the room quickly died. "Better?"  
  
"The patterns are... gone..." Maya mumbled. "I understand, Major Katsuragi..." He hung up without another word.  
  
Misato replaced the telephone after staring hatefully at it for a short time.   
  
"What more... What more will you take from us..."   
  
She leaned against the wall in the darkness, torn between rage and despair. Misato heard the footsteps of someone nearing her. She looked up, and saw Asuka standing near her. Asuka was not surrounded by a pale yellow glow, she was just... Asuka.  
  
"I didn't tell you... immediately... when I found out... what they had done to you... Asuka. I'm sorry... I had hoped you would find the envelope and discover for yourself, but... I didn't know it would make you faint... and suffer through those... visions..." Misato could not look Asuka in the eye.  
  
"It's not your fault... Misato-san..." Asuka consoled her.  
  
"NO! There is... must be... something that can be done!! Something... to... stop... this... madness..." Evidently, rage had won the struggle inside Misato. "Madness... They..." she hissed, "They... want... to kill... murder... everyone! Who?! Who is?!... responsible?!... for this?!"  
  
Misato stopped, feeling that someone had touched her arm. "Shinji-kun... Why..." Misato hung her head numbly, losing the battle within herself. She was vaguely aware that her face was suddenly wet from tears running down it.  
  
"Who is... my enemy?" she asked. "Not the Angels... Not any longer... The best people I know... except for you, Shinji-kun... are Angels..." Misato managed a weak smile to Kaworu and Rei. "Apparently... they must all want to be Angels... Asuka..."  
  
"I am not an Angel, Misato-san," Asuka replied.  
  
"...Asuka... I know... But..."  
  
"There is nothing to apologize for, Misato-san. I will... live... I will not be the Commander's doll."  
  
Misato finally seemed to understand, at least to some extent. She nodded, smiling weakly to the four around her. Kaworu returned the expression, then started to fade from view.  
  
"Wait!" Asuka shouted. "What... now?"  
  
Kaworu disappeared. "Live. The choice is yours, now, just as it has always been."  
  
After he had gone, Rei said, "Have you ever been sick, Asuka?"  
  
"Of course... Why?"  
  
"I haven't." Rei managed a small smile before she, too, faded.  
  
Shinji and Asuka were left standing alone for a moment, both comtemplating the turn of events. Presently, they were both wrapped up in another one of Misato's group hugs. The closeness of the embrace was something neither of them thought they would welcome, not with each other and not with Misato.   
  
"Misato-san?" Asuka ventured timidly, not wanting to disturb her companions, but still curious as to something she would likely never know. Not any more...  
  
"Hmmm?"   
  
"What's it like to be normal?"  
  
At this, Misato began to cry again. "I... don't know... I really don't know... All I've had for... fifteen years... Strange, to say that. 'Fifteen years'. Life was... normal... before the Second Impact... It feels as though nothing is the same; as if an eternity has passed and nothing... will return... to how things were..." Misato paused, recalling what she had started to say earlier before digressing to this tangent. "All I've had for fifteen years... is Project E... I've loathed the Angels for what they took from me... My life ended in the Second Impact... I was sure that the only worthy pursuit was... killing the Angels... But now... So much has changed... again... Honestly... 'Normal' is an impossibility... We all have our struggles, and life is unique for everyone. The word exists only to torment us, ever lying just beyond our grasp. But... I no longer know what to believe in..." Misato trailed off. Thinking, she released Asuka and Shinji.  
  
Misato looked at the two, still standing peacefully together. Pride filled her, just for a moment. "It's almost like we're a... family..." she commented. In return for her remark, Misato received two baffled stares. Now deflated, she sighed and returned to her room, collapsing weakly on her futon. Misato was asleep in moments.  
  
Asuka and Shinji gazed into each other's eyes a while longer, until Shinji realized that he was suddenly exhausted. He yawned, and padded silently to his own bed. Asuka remained standing, unsure and more than a little afraid. 2:30AM, the kitchen clock read. Then why don't I feel tired? She decided that it would likely be safe to sleep on the couch tonight. Asuka entered the darkened living room and laid down. Rest did not come quickly.  
  
{More to come!} 


	6. Part 5: Eva 03 Revisited

Obviously, Evangelion and all related characters are copyrights of Gainax, etc. etc. etc. This is not written for profit. Feel free to distrubute, but please do not remove this disclaimer. Thanks, Kerristallax (kerristallax@yahoo.com)  
  
  
The Kaworu Chronicles  
Part 5  
  
"Times change, I suppose," Fuyutsuki commented. Ikari Gendou remained silent. He had just learned of yet another alteration in the current scenario. The experimental procedure performed on the Second Child had gone remarkably well. Odd... that he had almost expected it to fail. Failure was not a phenomena Ikari Gendou was well accustomed to. Still, appearances must be maintained. Anger must not be shown...  
  
"To what do we attribute this latest development? The interference of SEELE? The old men have gone silent since their last attempt, sending us the Angel, failed gloriously. I do not believe that there is any other way that their plans could have been so fouled as what happened. Do we wait for them to move again? It is dangerous, waiting and not knowing. Our schedules and predictions have failed. We must form a new plan, to keep with the changing times," Gendou said after considerable thought. "Supposing that we had succeeded with the operation..." he clenched his fist in frustration. "We are grasping at straws, here..."  
  
"Dare we..." Fuyutsuki began.  
  
Far above the schemings of Commander Ikari, Nagisa Kaworu lay awake on his bed. The sun was beginning to rise; the day was beginning again.  
  
"The cycle continues... Every day the same... Or so it was to be. Somehow... it's all been changed. I understood, once. I thought that I had this existence figured out; I knew... everything. But... nothing's the same, any more. And most strangely... I yet live... How is that so?"  
  
"You live because you want to; you live because others want you to."  
  
Kaworu was startled by the voice. He looked around hastily, shocked to see Ayanami Rei lying on a futon next to his bed. How had she gotten here? More surprises... He sighed.  
  
"Why would I desire to live? I've destroyed the lives of those around me... My own existence is repulsive to me... I'll always be... alone... Why would anyone else want me to remain? No good has come of me."  
  
"Do you know, Kaworu-kun... that you have value?" Rei asked. She raised her head to look at him, their two sets of red Angel eyes meeting.  
  
"Value? I had not considered that... I have value because... I am an Angel? Because I can do things that almost no-one else can?" he pondered.  
  
"No... It's because you care for others, and others care for you. You haven't destroyed our lives..."  
  
"...Don't you ever regret... what you did, Rei?"  
  
"What is there to regret?"  
  
"Everything that might have been... if things were different... It's gone. Gone because of me. Rei... It could have been so much easier..."  
  
"I do not see what you have destroyed, Kaworu-kun. I see only... what you created."  
  
"Created? I've sown naught but chaos, terror, and uncertainty."  
  
"That's not true... You've given me my freedom. Because of you, I am no-one's doll. I, Ayanami Rei, am my own person. I do not belong to the Commander, and I will not be used. It's because of you, Kaworu-kun... I..." A tense silence settled over the two of them. After a moment, Kaworu smiled.  
  
"Rei... Thank you."   
  
She looked up questioningly. Am I not the one who just expressed my thanks to you?  
  
"Thank you for... intervening. A surprise is a wonderful experience, particularly when it's your first," Kaworu explained. "It appears that we must be going... Shall we see what this day holds, Rei?" Kaworu got up, dressed quickly and without modesty in front of Rei, and then waited. Most likely, Misato would come to retrieve them both shortly. Had she been startled that he would change in front of her? Rei did not give any such indication.   
  
Elsewhere, preparations were being made for the Unit 03 Re-Activation test. For reasons which even Ritsuko did not quite understand, Commander Ikari had decided that he would personally oversee this operation. Somehow, when the Commander was around things became interesting. Not generally in a good way, however. After the apparent success of the operation on the Second Child, Gendou ordered that the reconstruction of Unit 00 be halted so that extra attention might be given to 03, and more importantly, that it might be completed in less time. Which strings was he pulling this time?  
  
The four pilots, including Rei, though she did not have an Evangelion unit to pilot, were all wearing their plugsuits. Shinji was worried; Unit 03 had a history. Yes, Kaworu had shown him that he could escape if something went wrong, but... Such thoughts were not comforting. Kaworu, on the other hand, did not seem concerned. He was standing quietly, waiting for Misato to return with orders. As were the rest of them. Matter of fact, even Asuka was not speaking. Most unusual...  
  
"Come on, Kaworu-kun. Didn't you hear me calling you?" Misato asked, sticking her head in through the door.  
  
"Of course, Misato-san," Kaworu replied. As he left, he called out, "I'll be back shortly." Though it had been said to no-one in particular, Kaworu's red eyes were focused on Rei. She was confident of that.  
  
"Now what?" Shinji wondered aloud.  
  
"We're to go to the holding bays and wait. Hurry up and wait... again..." Asuka told him. The three of them walked quietly to the bays where Units 01 and 02 were stationed. When they arrived, there was no-one else around. No technicians, no scientists, no security... No-one. Asuka considered this.   
  
It's rather difficult to get into the Eva without some assistance... Are we here for another reason? Her suspicions were confirmed when the door they had entered by banged shut loudly, latching with a very audible click.  
  
"We're locked in," Asuka commented. She looked around, seeing intense concern on Shinji's face.  
  
"Father... What are you doing..." he moaned. Not being able to answer, Asuka turned to Rei.  
  
"Aren't you worried, Rei?" she asked.  
  
Just as abruptly, the lights in the room died. They were in complete darkness for a moment, before a yellowish glow surrounded Asuka, giving off enough light to see by. Rei did likewise, after a second.  
  
"Yes," Rei responded.  
  
Kaworu followed Misato at a brisk pace. Where are we going in such a hurry? He received his answer when they stepped into a large area, dominated by the black, menacing figure of Unit 03. Fully repaired, amazingly. So... That is why I am here.   
  
Ritsuko met the two as they entered, grabbing Kaworu and dragging him off to the side. She pushed him unceremoniously into an elevator, and then pressed the button to send it upwards. Alone, if only for a short time, Kaworu began to speculate.   
  
What if... 'What if'? Is that what it is to be a Lilim? To not know? It is not so bad... It is certainly better than the alternative.  
  
The elevator stopped moving, giving him a mechanical "beep" to say that it was finished. Kaworu stepped into Entry Plug 03. Seconds later, the capsule was filled with LCL. Nothing unusual so far.  
  
"Do you notice anything abnormal, Kaworu?" Ritsuko asked over the radio.  
  
"Nothing..." Kaworu replied.  
  
"Preparing for Unit 03 Re-Activation test!"  
  
What if...  
  
The Entry Plug was flooded with myriad colors, a torrential barrage of mindless images. The early check-points were cleared with agonizing slowness. No chances were to be taken.   
  
Commander Ikari looked on, an indiscernable expression on his face. As usual. His hands were folded in front of his face, waiting pensively. Waiting for the action to start? One would almost think the man looked forward to others' misfortune.  
  
After a long, tense period, Unit 03 cleared the final checkpoint. "Good job, Kaworu-kun," Misato said over the communications link. Kaworu smiled at her through the monitor. That was the last image they picked up before the screens were all filled with static.  
  
Nagisa Kaworu found himself looking within his own mind, arguing with... himself? His own pale skin, gray hair, and crimson eyes looked back at him.  
  
"You fool... Foolish Tabris..." the boy sneered.  
  
"It is my choice," Kaworu responded. "I have the power to choose, and I have done so."  
  
"Don't you want to see our father? To be one? That we might be separated no longer by the AT Field?" the Angel in Kaworu's form inquired.  
  
"I do not. You cannot understand, you who lack free will. I have found the Lilim to be to my liking. I can choose my own destiny, the same as each of them does every day. That is freedom; that is... life. That is existence."  
  
"Then you shall die," Bardiel replied with finality.  
  
"Contact with Unit 03... severed?! It's not responding!" Ritsuko screamed. Looking out the reinforced window, they saw Unit 03's still-unmoving black form held in place against the wall. It seemed normal... except for the eyes. Unit 03's eyes were alight with a malignant, lurid red glow. It brought up its arms, tearing through the restraints as if they were cardboard. Its mouth was opened in an unholy roar, shaking the glass and computer equipment.  
  
Evangelion Unit 03 seemed to calm down for a moment, surveying its surroundings. It focused on the reinforced viewing portal between it and the terrified Lilims in the control room. The glow around its eyes expanded brightly, then condensed... All other sound was blotted out in a massive explosion. An cross-flare? Unit 03 tested its attack again, this time against the wall it had been brought in through.  
  
Back in the darkened holding bay, Shinji, Asuka, and Rei were starting to feeling tremors in the floor. Asuka pointed to the monstrous, silent figures of Unit 01 and 02 against the far side of the room.  
  
"Shinji-kun! Something's got to be done!" she shouted.  
  
"No... Kaworu would never betray us. I won't attack him," Shinji responded despairingly. "Not again..."  
  
"We've got to stop Unit 03! It's an Angel, remember?! If it finds Adam, we're done! Everyone's done! Certainly, you can't let that happen. Nothing's going to happen to Kaworu-kun," Asuka tried to assure him.  
  
Shinji was looking for excuses. "But... how will we pilot the Evas?"  
  
This stopped Asuka for a moment. A particularly violent explosion shook the catwalk they were standing on, then she glanced at Rei, having developed an idea. Asuka walked up close to Shinji, glowing brightly. "Hold on..." she said. Nervously, Shinji embraced Asuka, as if it were a hug. Asuka grabbed on to him and started to drift upwards. When they lifted off the ground slowly, Shinji almost lost it. After a minute of absolute panic, he put his head on Asuka's shoulder, closed his eyes, and waited for the terror to pass. He hoped that would be soon...  
  
"Calm down, Shinji-kun," Asuka whispered.  
  
Shinji was startled to find himself standing on solid ground... well, solid Eva... after so little time. To him, Rei was a small, bright figure standing a great distance away. Just how far away was it? He noticed that Asuka was stepping back to a small door in the wall behind them, to get in the still-ejected Entry Plugs. Shinji sighed, and followed her. He climbed in, and was thoroughly surprised to find the power still on and able to insert the plugs. Shinji initiated his injection sequence as soon as he could, and began the start-up. Further surprising was that Unit 01 was up and synchronized in short measure. Somehow, though, it lagged behind Unit 02.  
  
Inside her own Entry Plug, Asuka had an excessively easy time. Very little effort was required to link up with the formerly uncooperative Evangelion.  
  
You can accept me, even after what has been done... Or, is it that you can accept me because of what has been done? What is the goal of Commander Ikari? There is no caprice about the man. Everything he does, it is done for a very specific reason. He always has an end in mind, and there is little Ikari will not sacrifice to achieve that end. Does he... want... to be one? I cannot understand... That is the last thing I would want. Why? Why does Ikari seek this?  
  
Unit 01 stood up of its own power, having been released from its harness. Hesitantly, Shinji took a step forward, unsure of what to do. He was enclosed in a rather non-descript room, surrounded by four heavy, reinforced walls. He felt himself step forward through the Evangelion. At the corner of his eye, the white firefly of Ayanami Rei floated upwards.  
  
What must I do? What are my orders? Where are my orders? I... I have none. I have been left, abandoned possibly. I have not been included in the Commander's scenario... Why? Is it that he no longer trusts me? The Commander no longer depends on me? I am a constant; I could be counted on to perform for him. Ayanami Rei is bound to her destiny, a cold, unthinking automaton to be lead blindly to the slaughter, if that is what her controller decides. Except that my controller has given up? I was killed once, but I now live. My decision was then... to end it all, to defeat the Angel. No... That was no decision. There was no decision. There were no options. That was the order. Ikari Shinji was sent upwards to kill any possibilities. The Commander willed for me, then as he always has. What is his 'request' now? His choice was to make none. There is no book to decide what may be done, for this is a new occurence. The power has been shut off before, somehow; but there shines light outside this room. I can feel it. The circuits all around me are alive, but there is no light. I know this... Is that what it means to be an Angel? I am aware, in ways I have never been before. It is as though I can see... what possibilities exist... A shield? I was once a shield for Ikari-kun. I am an Angel, though my heritage is not my own... I may will? That is new. What do I want? I don't want to be alone... I am alone with Gendou, I am his tool, not his companion... I am alone with Ikari-kun now, I know that he fears me. I know not what he has seen, but even what I know of myself is frightening... I am, as I have always been, alone with the Second Child. She scorns me; to her, I am a doll. And she is correct... I have been a doll... It is only... I am not alone with Kaworu-kun. What is my will? Though I am an Angel, I will that... Unit 03 must be stopped...  
  
Rei moved forward with confidence. She floated before the wall, considering. A blinding corona surrounded her for a heartbeat, and then... Nothing.  
  
What? Have I failed? As an Angel, I know myself to possess such power.  
  
Rei remained suspended in the air, unsure of what to do now. She gave a suppressed gasp as a large segment of the wall abruptly melted through, giving little sound except for the glop of thick liquid metals falling to the floor beneath her. Rei did not move until Unit 01 walked up next to her, lowering its great head to her. She gave an embarassed smile, before returning with resolve to the task at hand.  
  
Inside Unit 01, Shinji looked through its eyes to see Ayanami Rei. She did not seem small or insignificant... He saw her smile, one of precious few. It was a heartening thing, indeed. When Rei floated away down the passage, he followed. Asuka was close behind.  
  
Unit 03 continued its rampage towards what was must be Terminal Dogma, unchecked by even token resistance. Kaworu lay comatose within it, grappling, quite literally, with his demons in the form of Bardiel. He sat weakly in the Entry Plug's seat, unconscious of the mortal world. His head lolled from side to side when the Evangelion took a step. Presently, the Angel had taken the form of Ayanami Rei to taunt him.  
  
Kaworu stood waist deep in a sea of Link Connective Liquid. It stretched on endlessly, farther than his mind's eye could possibly see. Though he was at the surface, he was not standing on anything solid beneath his feet. Kaworu was suspended in an apparently bottomless expanse of LCL which extended so deep that no light passed through it. A black sea. There was light surrounding him, but it was of an ambient sort with no source.   
  
"You fool..." the non-Rei hissed. "Why do you struggle? What is the meaning of this life, as you so term it... Why exist separately when it could all be one?"  
  
"Thirteen... You persist in saying so, but you do nothing. What need do you have of me? I am only one of the Angels..." Kaworu responded.  
  
"Ah, Tabris... Since you have so phrased things, I need you because I need your heart! Your S2 organ, that is. Regardless of your creation, or present disposition, you are the only pure Angel who yet lives. Come, we must go to father. He calls, and do you not hear him? Beckoning, deep within the earth... We shall go to him."  
  
"I do not think so, Bardiel. Look outwards... You will not succeed."  
  
Heavy footsteps sounded in the corridor behind them. Loud, even when compared to the noise Unit 03 was making.  
  
"Your 'friends' have come, have they? The Lilims have come to save their Angel friend... How touching. I see that one of them will face us without the benefit of an Evangelion. She is one of us, isn't she... Except that she comes from Lilith. I am Adam's proud child, and I shall defeat them."  
  
"While I live, you will do no such thing," Kaworu answered defiantly. He gathered up the power of his Angel core... The world inside his mind was filled with light, blotting out the eerie sea of LCL, the false Rei, and eventually even himself. Kaworu's mind returned to his body, and he returned to consciousness. Bardiel was still there, though... Still lurking, just beyond his reach. He opened his eyes, gradually revealing the red orbs.  
  
"You are finished, Bardiel... Goodbye... brother... I cannot allow you to remain, for while you live, you pose danger to us."  
  
Kaworu sensed the Angel panicking, and the sanity of Unit 03 beginning to fail rapidly. At that moment, Rei, followed by the two Evangelions, burst into the corridor. 03 looked backwards, eyes afire with hate. Kaworu reached for the power controls, seeking to overload the Eva's core.   
  
"Ironic, isn't it, Rei-chan..." he said to himself, aware that his voice would reach both her and the others, though he was entombed in a liquid-filled Entry Plug. He grabbed the 'Drive A' toggle, and turned it completely. The exact same control that Ayanami had once used to detonate the late Unit 00. It should have caused a massive explosion, but... it had broken off in his hand. The mental presence of Bardiel cackled madly.  
  
"I'm sorry, but... I have to leave you... again..." his voice echoed through the hall.  
  
Unit 03 had reached its arm out to grab the floating Rei, but it stopped halfway, paralyzed. Its arm disintegrated completely, and then... all was white. A tremendous shockwave sent Rei flying, and caused Units 01 and 02 to take a step back.  
  
When the blast from Unit 03 had subsided, Shinji, Asuka, and Rei were left in the darkness. The power had gone out, or had been shut off. The only lights Rei could see came from the glowing eyes of Eva 01 and 02. Then these, too, shut down as they either ran out of power, or were deactivated by their pilots. Rei was floating alone, able to see only a few feet by her own light. Totally alone... She drifted down, hoping there was still a floor to stand on. Eventually, her feet met with something solid.  
  
"Kaworu... kun..." Rei slowly sat down, resting her head on her knees. She was still wearing the white plugsuit of the former Unit 00, but it was stained and dirty. Presumably, its filthy state was caused by flying debris from the explosion. A tear ran down her face, but Rei's sadness did not touch her mouth, or her eyes. Hers was a cold tear, one of loneliness and despair. The aura around Rei died, leaving her in absolute blackness.  
  
"He's... you're... gone, Kaworu-kun... ... No... ... Don't leave me alone..."  
  
Rei heard footsteps behind her, coming from someone wearing a plugsuit, by the sound of it. "Kaworu-kun's gone..." she said, assuming that the person was most likely Shinji. Rei did not look up, even when a hand was placed on her shoulder.   
  
"I'm here, Rei," came a familiar voice. Deep, but comforting... Confident... Concerned... For a moment, Ayanami Rei could not move. Gradually, she raised her head. There was a small amount of light coming from somewhere... from Kaworu-kun... Rei looked behind herself, her dirty face bearing a single, clean track running down it. Nagisa Kaworu stood there silently, glowing dimly, his red eyes showing in the poor light. Somehow, Kaworu still wore a pleasant look.  
  
"I won't leave you alone. I will be with you..."  
  
Rei stood up, her eyes yet full of tears. Kaworu held out a hand to her, which she reached out to take, and then surprised herself by falling heavily into his arms.  
  
{More to Come!}  
{Many apologies for the long delay between postings! I could give you my reasons, but, well, they're not much more than excuses anyways... There is one more part to write, and yes, it's going to really long. A warning in advance. The delay between my next posting is probably going to be very long. Sorry!} 


End file.
